Best of Facebook: September 2015

9/1/15: Click here to see photo on FB:

I have been admiring all the cute "back to school" photos on my news feed so when we had the opportunity I had to take our own! Our homeschool co-op started back up today. Yay!!!

Once a week 11 families (46 students) meet up at a church 2 blocks from our home. The kids get to divide up into age groups and enjoy their friends (and practice patience to those who are not yet friends) while the moms each teach a 30 min class in History, Geography, Literature, Science, Latin, Bible, Art and Music. Us home bound mamas also get some socializing in which is one key mommy-sanity-saver in my book :)

The kids kept expressing how much they wanted everyone to meet Brittney at least once so I made the decision to keep her home today to attend our co-op with us and meet all our new and old friends. It was a little overwhelming for her as new places always are so I am sure she will be glad to be back at her school tomorrow in her small class of seven.

9/4/15: Click here to see photo of FB:

As the mama of a little boy that melts my heart and causes it to overflow I have been watching all the racial wars in disgust. What if a white man pulls a gun on my son simply because the color of his skin not knowing that my son doesn't see color and loves both his white sister and brown sister fiercely! My son's life matters! What if a black man pulls a gun on me simply because of the color of my skin not knowing that I don't see color and love both my white kids and my brown kids as if they came from my body! My life matters! Fighting on either side of the race war is fighting with the very same weapons you are trying to fight against! Using hate to fight hate crimes is only going to cause more pain and more hate to spread. Try to fight with the only weapon that will conquer, LOVE, because love never fails!

If a white officer treats a person, who happens to be black, wrongly then go to their police station and serve them, pray for them, pray with them, love them. Next time they see a black person your kindness will be what they see, love will conquer hate. If a black person treats a person, who happens to be a white officer, wrongly then go to their black community and serve them, pray for them, pray with them, love them. Next time they see an officer your kindness will be what they see. Love will conquer hate.

We could also all use a lesson in obedience to authority. Citizens need to obey men and women put in uniform for our protection and justice. And people in uniform need to obey God, who is the ultimate authority and will be their judge. God commanded us to love our neighbors as ourselves! Both black and white men and women are our American neighbors so love them and treat them how you would like to be treated!

‪#‎ALLlivesmatter‬ ‪#‎blacklivesmatter‬ ‪#‎whitelivesmatter‬ ‪#‎policelivesmatter‬‪#‎supportblue‬ ‪#‎backtheblue‬

9/7/15: Click here to see photo on FB:

Let me tell you a story, a story of a simple birthday and how we so simply take them for granted. 

About three months ago Brian and I were out on our weekly
Wednesday date night. We ate at Firehouse and were talking and just plain enjoying each other when we overheard a young man who worked there talking to his co-workers. Some of the details in what he was saying sounded strikingly similar to the lives of our children. My interest was pricked but I wasn't going to mosy up the counter and be like, "Hey, I am a stranger, a stranger really good at eavesdropping, can you tell me your life story?" We continued our dinner until this same young man came to our table to take our trays. I gently nudged, "I couldn't help but overhear you talking, did you say 'when you lived at the group home'?"

This young man, let's call him Swag, he very eagerly sat down at our table with us and told us his whole story. He was so open and not ashamed of his past. He told us about life growing up in a boy's group home then aging out of the fostercare system when he was 18 because he was never adopted. In his group home years he struggled with anger and depression but a very faithful counselor helped bring out his God-given potential and helped him look on the bright side of life, showed him what his life could look like. That counselor also served this young man, with no parents, after aging out occurred. She helped him get his first job, took him shopping and celebrated his birthday with him.

Sadness covered his face as he told us she had moved away this year and he missed her greatly, she was like the family he didn't have. He quickly gained his enthusiasm back and continued sharing about his life with us. God very clearly pricked my heart to give this young man our phone number and told him to call whenever he needed some "family time" like at Christmas or Thanksgiving or even a card on his birthday.

We left the restaurant inspired by all this young man had overcome yet still had joy on his face. I turned to Brian, "I wish I had asked him his birthday." To which my husband, with the memory of an elephant, responded, "Babe, he said it when he told us his age, it is coming up on September 7th." I quickly saved the date in my phone calendar because with the memory of Dory the fish I knew it would slide off my radar by the time we got buckled into the car.

Well, today was Swag's birthday, my handy little smart phone reminded me. Because I don't have my mommy act together most of the time I didn't bake him homemade cupcakes but a cake from Publix with "Happy Birthday Swag" sufficed. A balloon bouquet and a card from the Dollar Tree completed our little, simple birthday surprise. The kids were so excited as he lit up with surprise and hugged us over and over and over!

It is surprising the love Jesus can grow in our hearts for a complete stranger so quickly. As our kids grow up and we age we hope to never retire from loving all of God's children. In our future we hope to become family for many young men and women at risk of aging out, no one should have to face this life alone! We love you Swag and wish you the best of birthdays!

9/9/15: Click here to see photo on FB:

Enjoying a late night swim! We are in Orlando attending the DCF Child Protective Summit Conference. We were so blessed to be offered a free scholarship to stay and attend and boy are these country kids cute walking around the Ritz Carlton with their mouths gaping open, "Gee mom, this is sure fancy!" LOL

And we are super looking forward to this Friday when we stand before a judge and make Brittney ours forever!

9/11/15: Click here to see photo on FB:

<3 Introducing Anna Brittney Carroll!!! <3

Severe medical neglect brought her into fostercare 8 years ago but today ADOPTION changed her future forever!!! Adoption isn't second best. Adoption isn't plan B. Adoption is the very heart of God! We adopt because we were adopted!!!

"In love He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved." Ephesians 1:5-6

9/14/15: Click here to see photo on FB:

This morning a neighbor, who I didn't remember meeting, stopped by and dropped off a bag of sheets and a card signed by several members of our tiny community. The giftcard was overwhelmingly thoughtful and such a blessing of provision for us! They said it was "a thank you for what we bring to the neighborhood" but our neighbors bless us far more than we could ever return! Thank you ladies!

9/16/15: Click here to see photo on FB:

A special treat for six of our kiddos (our Britt is at her school) because this morning they all sat quietly and contentedly by themselves in a busy waiting room while I accompanied Brian during his doctor's appt.

Three weeks ago we found a mass that was very concerning. After two weeks of monitoring by our doctor he wanted to rule out the possibility of cancer so he referred Brian to a specialist. Even though the possibility of cancer has been buzzing in our heads God had given us a sweet peace during that two week wait. Only last night did my anxiety break through causing me to worry what would I do if I lost my rock of a husband. God answered, "you'd have to continue to trust and rely on your rock of a Savior."

Well, the specialist today gave us the news we had been praying to desperately for, the mass is absolutely nothing to worry about! Praise God! This experience has made us all think of our time together much more dear, reminded us to cherish every moment of our short time here and renewed us to live and serve Christ to the fullest with all our being!

9/19/15: Click here to see photo album on FB:

Today was National #TalkLikeAPirateDay so yesterday we spent about 4 hours whipping up some piratey costumes for my seven scallywags, I even made a parrot from old socks, felt and glue. We picked up Pirate Nanny and looted Krispy Kreme of their donut booty. Then we made a few stops and shared the wealth with some heros in our community, the fire department, the police department and, the unsung hero of this family, daddy!

9/24/15: Click here to see photo on FB:

In the never ending drama saga that is our life we recently had a mama cat and three kitties dropped off on our farm. Today we brought them all to our vet for their spay/neuter surgeries before we find them homes or they live out their lives on our 7 acre homestead. Since the big kids are at band class and Britt is at school it was just me and my little helpers picking them up. Maggie and Ty were so excited to not be overshadowed by the big kids, they have their opportunity to show off what big helpers they could be. "Can we carry Cheddar, please mom?" I gave in, went over the importance of walking slow and not dropping the kitty then stepped back to put some trust in my little ones.

We made it halfway through the vet office before an older customer grabbed the cat carrier out of their hands, "I'll help you to the car! At this rate it will take you forever and you don't want them to drop it." I looked down at two defeated little faces. "Yes, you are right, if I allow them to help it will take longer than if I did it myself and there is a small chance that they will drop it." I backed up and grabbed two lollipops off the jar at the front counter, "But my little ones here are such great helpers and they want to show me how big they are! I don't mind it taking longer, we aren't in a rush and they will do a great job, thank you for your offer, but I trust my little helpers to carry the kitty out to the car." Confused she put t he carrier back down and we slowly but surely made it safely out to the car. Two very proud smiles happily ate lollipops on the car ride home.

As I watch these babies grow into big kids before my eyes I have learned I must not keep them from an opportunity to succeed and be praised due to a risk of failure. Time and time again they are ready and able to do far more than what I think they are capable of. They are growing up way too fast! :'(

9/27/15: Click here to see photo on FB:

A memory from one year ago today! "We love our adopted kids best when we choose to love their parents!"

Today we attended a wedding. We sought counsel and over and over were advised not to attend. We were told it wasn't safe. People believed that it would be confusing. Brian and I prayed, as we usually do, that we would be open to God's direction even if it went against all human wisdom (there was a time we received the same negative counsel by well meaning Christians about accepting a 4th, 5th and 6th child into our family).

After seeing the tears stream down her face and the joy she expressed at the sight of the blond 3 year old she gave birth to, God confirmed we had listened well. I am so thankful God grabbed ahold of my heart and led me courageously to attend Maggie's birthmom's wedding. I wasn't condoning her life choices but choosing to show her love and grace regardless of her behavior. God gave an overwhelming peace to my heart that no fear of man could shake. He had also orchestrated perfectly that in Maggie's "too big clothes bin" sat a beautiful flower girl dress that had been given to us when she was only an infant. It was too pretty to pass along before she could use it and when we dug it out it fit perfectly as if it was waiting there just for this moment!

Adoption is a unique journey and at times confusing. This little girl that I have raised and adore was not grown in my body. I will forever share her with another mother. While that thought could consume some with sadness it reminds me that it isn't love being shared as in separated but shared as in combined. My baby girl is loved twice! And when I adopted this little girl, I was not just given a daughter to love, but her mother to love also! We love our adopted kids best when we choose to love their parents!

9/27/15: Click here to see photo on FB:

The mooing outside my window was unrelenting. The cow would not be quiet. Although I have strep and am on quarantine and bedrest I snuck outside, "What Buttercream?" I asked as I pet the top of her head. "MOO!" She bellowed. I went into to fence and began massaging her head, neck and back. I had missed being outside at all yesterday due to my sickness and somebody wasn't happy about a missed massage. Then a nudge came from behind where three beautiful ponies were letting me know they were there and waiting for their turn. As I continued massaging each pony our herd of goats, Dolly the donkey, our two Pyrenees, 3 cats, our pigs and Bruce the goose were at my feet pushing ahead in line for their turn to be held, pet and loved on.

It was beginning to rain as I finished up loving on each animal. "Mom, get inside you are going to get more sick!" Since I now smelled worse than a wet goat and my pajamas were covered dirt I took a long hot shower. Now I am snuggled up with an awesome book and some hot tea. As for the Buttercream, she is content and quiet.

Thankful for a hubby that can take over when I am sick, but the cow says farmers don't get a day off. ;)

Posted by Shannon

Is "All You Need is Love" True in the World of Adoption?

 

Happy National Adoption Month!

Happy National Adoption Day!

When adopting any child other than a newborn infant you are often met with one of two responses. Response one is the I-know-someone-with-experience-but-have-none-myself response, "I knew a person that had a cousin whose brother adopted two older boys and they burnt the house down." Response two is the I-have-absolutely-no-experience-and-don't-know-anyone-who-does-response, "Oh, older adopted kids have problems but all they need is some love and snuggles!" We were met with both of these at the beginning of our adoption journey and neither are true. Well, I don't know if the person's cousin's brother really had their house burned down or not....

When beginning down this path labeled adoption let us be encouraged by the truth, educate ourselves and open our hearts to God for Him to supernaturally equip us through the trips, falls and fires we could not have planned for. Here are three very real facts about adoption:

1. Adoption is only necessary because a child lost the family they were born into. Whether due to their parent's death, an unwanted pregnancy, abandonment, neglect, abuse, or trauma remember that adoption is born in loss. We, as adoptive parents, are on the joyful side, saturated in the joy of growing our family, our children are swimming in the grief of losing theirs. Our compassion for their hurt is often what propels us to want to adopt them in the first place!
2. Children will act out and exhibit hard behaviors due to their struggle to walk through that loss. Think if a stranger came and took you away from your husband, your children, and your friends and dropped you off in another home, "I know you are sad to leave your family but this new family has been waiting and waiting for a new mommy and they are so glad you are here!" Don't you think you would act a little, or maybe a lot, crazy! Let our compassion perservere even when the trials of behaviors hit long and hard.
3. Children struggling with loss, grief, bonding and attachment will need more than just love. Yes, love is a huge key in their healing. The right kind of love. Not always huggy kissy love but a secure love. A love that says I am not going anywhere and there is nothing you can do that would take my love away. You can't steal enough, or lie enough, or run away enough to break my unending love for you. A love that is an action, a choice and a daily fight to put on. Besides an unshakable love these children may need some extra help from loved ones, friends, counselors and therapists. That is okay, because as they say, "it takes a village to raise a child." Don't be afraid to call on your village for help.

I have shared many of our struggles walking through the adoption story God has weaved for us. So many trying times that almost broke me to the point of quitting, of giving up. But hope shines through. Hope is not lost in adoption. There is an amazing event that transpires only through adoption. That is the reflection of what God has done for us. God had such a great compassion for us that "while we were yet sinners Christ died for us" (Rom. 5:8). Then although we are justified, although God has adopted us as His sons and daughters we still sin and behave contrary to His Word (Rom. 7:19). But God's love is unfailing and there is nothing that can pluck us out of His hand (John 10:28). "We love, because He first loved us" (1 John 4:19).


This is our adoption story told through 2 years of previous blog posts or videos:

• January 2012 - Why me, God?
• July 2012 - Our instant family video
• February 2013 - Our valentine's day adoption post and video
• March 2013 - Why we desire to go to the CAFO adoption conference
• May 2013 - Recollection of what we learned at CAFO adoption conference and memories of sending a difficult child away.
• September 2013 - A parable like story of a wicked woman, a king and adoption
• October 2013 - What does the bible say about RAD and attachment issues?
• January 2014 - It is not a good time to adopt again but we are doing it anyway
• February 2014 - I can't handle this thing called adoption anymore
• March 2014 - Adoption and birth order
• March 2014 - Adoption and fostering attachment through fostering pets
• March 2014 - Brian, my husband, didn't want to adopt, he wrote why
• March 2014 - Healing in the Hurt; Putting on love while battling behaviors that stem from attachment issues
• May 2014 - Our 2 year adoption anniversary
• October 2014 - We chose to love our adopted kids best when we love their birth parents

     (Picture: A friend's princess party where the kids dressed up as princesses, knights and....a Croom)

Posted by Shannon
Soli Deo gloria - Glory to God alone

Has It Been Two Years Already!?! Happy Adoption Day Anthony, Mirabel and Risa!!!

Two years ago we adopted three siblings that would change our lives forever!

(Photo Commentary: May 2012 taken at the school they grew up in after their adoption)

Happy Adoption Day Anthony, Mirabel and Risa!

These three siblings joined us on June 11th, 2011 in foster care, almost three years ago!

(Photo Commentary: June 2011 taken the first day in our home)

It was a hard road of training, teaching and choosing to show love in the difficult and trying times. It has been a road of earning and learning to trust. A road of loving and being loved. A road paved with tears, prayer and laughter. A road that I would travel again 10,000 times to make them mine!

(Photo Commentary: December 2012 taken in Gatlinburg, TN)

We have learned many lessons along the way. Grown in our knowledge of disorders, behaviors, grief, loss and needs. We made it our goal to point them to the one true Counselor and Physician for ALL their healing. To show them their great need of a Savior. To show them the lovingkindness of Jesus in our words and deeds!

(Photo Commentary: March 2013 taken in Gatlinburg, TN first time seeing snow)

 

We have all been down a road of so much healing that our mended hearts are closely knitted. These children have taught me so much about kids, about love and about myself! They have pushed me closer to my Jesus and given me a joy unspeakable!

(Photo Commentary: April 2013 taken on the Wizard of Oz parade float)

These kids have shown me God's amazing healing power! He has made Himself so much more real to me as He faithfully renews my children's hearts to trust again, to love again, to live again! I post a lot about my very real struggles as an adoptive mama. (Click here for Healing in the Hurt)

There is always hope! Here is my proof! My kids and my struggles were healed over time through the grace and love of Jesus Christ!

(Photo Commentary: November 2013 taken while making homemade applesauce)

On May 30th, 2012 moments before we walked into the courtroom to adopt our first sibling group of three I wept. Not tears of joy. Tears of sorrow. I had so much worry. Worried that I would never be able to help these three children with all their labels and behaviors. Worried that they would never be able to heal. Worried that they would never know the Lord. Worried that they would never be able to give or receive love. I cried tears of fear, not of hope. I was right, I couldn't heal my kids, only Jesus could. My kids labeled with RAD, PTSD, ADHD, and ODD, that failed and got suspended and were delinquent in school and at home, have become NEW. No amount of medications, counseling, therapies or treatment centers can heal them. Although we have used all of those tools at different points in our journey. Only Jesus can take away their hurt heart of stone and give them a new, healed heart made of flesh.

“Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh." Ezekiel 36:26

They are healing despite our parenting mistakes and ignorance as we try to be the committed family, with unwavering structure, with consistent guidance and with the endless love that they desperately need. I remember feeling so ill-equipped for so long. Asking "why me?" over and over. I know now why God chose me, not for me to help them but for Jesus to help me. Jesus wanted to teach me more about Himself and the joy of joining in another's suffering. If we don't see the suffering, how can we see the transforming healing?

(Photo Commentary: May 2014 taken in honor of their 2nd Adoption Anniversary)

We are by no means perfect, and neither are our children. We are just a normal, crazy family. We are just parents raising children with childish hearts that still need love, direction and guidance. But we strive to seek the Lord in all things and live to glorify and honor Him alone! We praise God for these children that have strengthened and grown our faith as we walked obediently trusting the Lord. Although we had no idea what was in store, we adopted them and learned what unconditional and unshakable love truly meant! Nothing can separate our hearts from theirs! Adoption is FOREVER!

 

Posted by Shannon
Soli Deo gloria - Glory to God alone