Our Family in the News

There were two stories that were published and aired today.

1.
The first was an article about Brittney and her amazing Guardian-ad-litem (GAL) who helped push for her to come home! The article, by Nancy Kinnally with the FL Bar Foundation, is well-written and sheds light on the deeper pieces of her story and eventually finding a forever family:

"Brittney, 11, smiles broadly and extends her hand in greeting to welcome a visitor to her family’s Tallahassee farm, where she and her six siblings help care for a menagerie that includes dogs, cats, ponies, goats, chickens, rabbits, a donkey and a cow named Buttercream.

Born prematurely and with a panoply of medical disorders that could shorten her lifespan, Brittney spent years in and out of Orlando hospitals and medical foster homes until Brian and Shannon got a phone call from a Wendy’s Wonderful Kids recruiter asking if they would consider adopting her. 

“We told her, ‘Yes, we would absolutely be interested in taking this little girl,’ because we believe that all life is valuable and that all children deserve a loving family, whether they are going to pass away, whether they have special needs, no matter what the issues are,” Shannon said. “We made a commitment to God a long time ago that if we were ever called to take a child we would consider that a call from Him.”.....

Here is the link to read the entire article:
A long legal road leads to a permanent home for Brittney

2.
The second was a 4 minute news segment, that aired on France2 TV. They inquired with us about their interest in covering a segment on American adoption disruptions since disrupting an adoption is not allowed in France. They traveled to us in FL from Washington D.C. to spend the afternoon filming our lives and interviewing Sam on his experience being adopted twice. We can't express what a sweet crew they were to work with, so natural and patient. 

"One of the more charming segments I've produced at France 2 Washington DC in a while. This one tells the story of Sam, a child from China who was adopted but then given up by his adoptive parents. Thank god he wasn't sent back to the orphanage in China, but taken in by Brian and Shannon in Florida, the 5 Kids 6 Months family. What you see here is love for children by other families who believe in third chances." - Sabrina Buckwalter, producer at France2

Here is link to watch the video news story:
États-Unis : des petites annonces pour réadopter un enfant déjà adopté une première fois

Since it is in French, it was made for France2 TV after all, below is the English translation of the video:
ENGLISH TRANSLATION:
"The little boy is only 10 years old and yet he already has a past saddled with pain and separation.
A birthmark deforms his face but that is a mere detail in comparison to all the suffering he's been through.

Sam has been through an orphanage in China and 2 adoptive families in the US.
18 months ago, his first adoptive parents decided to cede him to another couple. 

Sam precisely recalls the shock he felt at the time:
SOT (Sam, readopted child): "2 days before I was taken they announced it to me, that I was going to have a new house, a new home.

SOT (Valerie Astruc, Reporter) - How did you react?

SOT (Sam, readopted child) - I was scared. They did not think that I was a nice child, but I still was attached to them."

With his new parents, Sam often watches the home videos his previous family had left for him.
Images of apparent bliss, but the child had reactive attachments disorders at that times.
His first adoptive parents therefore decided to give Sam to another family.

SOT (Shannon, Sam's 2nd adoptive mother): "It wasn't that they were neglectful by any means. But it was Sam's behavior, he behaved himself in a way that created a rift, there was a bond that was very hindered."

The little boy has had to learn live with his new brothers and sisters, 6 in total, all adopted by Brian and Shannon, a devout couple who did in the name of Jesus.

Sam's first months in his new family were very testing:
SOT (Sam) : "When I first arrived, I'd get very angry. When I wouldn't get what I wouldn't get my way, I would shut down, and wouldn't talk.

SOT (Shannon, Sam's 2nd adoptive mother) : - Yeah. Sometimes it'd be for hours, yeah. And then we in the family would start thinking, 'Well, what did we do, why are you so mad at us?'. But we understood that he had lost a lot."

Adopted children that change parents, there exists hundreds in the United States. No specific number can be posited as the phenomenon is fairly recent.

SOT (Valerie Astruc, Reporter) : "No federal law prohibits the transfer of an adopted children into a new family. A handful of states require that they go before a tribunal but in the majority of cases, the procedure is rather simple."

On the internet, specialized agencies publish little blurbs drafted by adoptive parents that wish to separate themselves from their adoptive children. Beneath Landon's picture, 8 years old, this is what it reads:
"The arrival of this hyperactive child is not what we expected."

Another face, another story, and another comment:
"Abby needs a house with parents that are calm and patient to help her."

All these posts are perfectly legal and regulated.
This lawyer explains that a home study and backgrounds checks suffices to carry out the transfer of a child between 2 adoptive families, with no intervention from public authorities.

SOT (Christine Thurman, Lawyer specialized in Family Affairs) : "What we're seeing is a trend for 2nd chance families. Apparently they'll want to take on someone with a level of confidentiality, they do not want people to know that there is a new child. After the first child [in the case of a first adoption] there's often a lot of celebration, and then the child just disappears."

Once a child has changed homes, an agency that has been certified by social services comes to make sure that everything is in order.

This couple has re-adopted this 8 year old girl.
Marian is the one who had linked the 2 families up, took care of the transfer procedures and now routinely makes sure the child is doing ok.

SOT (Marian Huet, Director, Love & Hope, Adoptive Services) : "It's very safe."
This disruption from adoption practice remains fairly marginal . And apparently nobody seems to blame families for going back on their decision to adopt a given child.

SOT (Vanessa Smith, 2nd adoptive mother) : "They get a child who is really "damaged" or "hurt", often from abroad and they don't know much about the child or the environment he grew up in."

SOT (Marian Huet, Director, Love & Hope, Adoptive Services) : "It's better to have a re-adoption than staying in a home where it is not working. It's like being in a very bad marriage where people stay together for the wrong reasons."

In the US, the number of readoptions is not limited. In other words, a child can change adoptive families several times, before he reaches the age of 18."



Posted by Shannon

Best of Facebook: March 2015

3/1/15: Click here to see video on FB:

AMEN x20!!!! This is such an overlooked subject when dealing with the church and adoption. Praise God for a little more light shed on this subject. Please watch and share if you have or know someone who has adopted! It is a lonely road parenting RAD especially when you don't know what RAD is or why this child you love dearly hates you!

We watch Wretched often although Todd (the show host) drives me crazy sometimes with his antics. I do not believe that Todd is saying that 100% of children have RAD, I think he is saying that potentially you can adopt a child with 100% RAD. Not only did our first 3 have RAD to varying degrees but last year we specifically adopted a child diagnosed with RAD from an adoption disruption. RAD behaviors are REAL! Yet let me point out that Jesus can heal and release the bondage of even RAD!!!

The hardest part of adoption and RAD is loving a child that does not reciprocate any form of love, but isn’t that the gospel! Jesus loved us, a people that did not reciprocate His love yet He filed for our adoption anyway! We then love Him because He first loved us! That is the story of RAD, we as parents get to live on the front lines of the gospel and sacrifice our lives and love with sometimes no reward. We do have hope even with RAD, we have Jesus. Also, the best biblical resource we have found for parenting children with these symptoms is “Parenting the Difficult Child” by Linda Rice.

Click here to see video on Wretched, "Reactive Attachment Disorder: You need to know that most adoptive parents are dealing with this."

3/4/15: Click here to see post on FB:

Let me present an adoption scenario: Twins are born, mom decides that she isnt ready for this and begins looking for an adoption plan for her babies. She needs an immediate family for these 6 week old baby boy twins. Question, would you be willing to adopt them?

I do believe that most of you are so willing to adopt that you are about to comment or message me to ask if this is real. But are you ready to appear in front of an attorney and adopt today? In an hour? In your willingness to adopt did you prepare for adoption ahead of time? Have you completed your adoption homestudy? If God has laid adoption on your heart, if at any point in your walk you have said, "I would love to adopt one day" then step out in faith and get prepared! God could call on you at any moment. You could talk to a woman tomorrow at the grocery store or hear a need from a friend. There may not be time to say, "I am willing but give me 3 months to get my homestudy completed." Adoption needs tend to be immediate and almost never are you going to have 9 months to prepare! I you are not ready you may miss out on a unique opportunity to be surprisingly blessed!

Willingness is great, but are you prepared to say "I am ready. Lord, send me," with homestudy in hand, if you were offered twins today?

3/5/15: Click here to see photos on FB:

Just got home very late from dancing the night away! We were invited to a English Country Dance event with a purpose to fundraise money to help our friend Dima, an orphan from Ukraine who came here on a medical visa, apply for Asylum to stay in the country! So today we spent 2 hours of last minute thrift store shopping in hopes of finding some old english costumes. After prayer, three thrift stores and $25 our goal was accomplished! We loved learning so many old dances including our new favorite, the Virginia Reel. Here are some pictures of our fun!

3/6/15: Click here to see photo on FB:

Let me tell you a story of blessings!

Our tax return just came in (woohoo!) and we have budgeted all the money to fulfill our final needs for our new home. One of those budgeted needs was an AC/heat system. The house is set up for central air but the AC system was old and broken when we bought the house. We budgeted $1500 for a good, used one and called an AC guy that a good friend recommended. He came out discussed our budget, looked over everything and said he would call with a quote. His call later that day blew me away!

Now let me set the stage a little bit. That morning we got a late start, it was a plain old rough morning. It was 10:30am by the time we finally got farm chores done and breakfast on the table. Here I am in a old t-shirt and had kinda skipped the hair brushing and make-up in my usual morning routine when the scheduled AC guy shows up. He was just here to do get a quick quote for a paid job so I let it go that I appeared so unorganized and frazzled. He left after about 30min of gathering all the information he needed to write up a quote and promised to call later. Around 3pm the same day the phone rang.

"Mrs. Carroll this is _____, the AC guy. I wanted to let you know that I have never met a sweet and well-mannered bunch of kids as your own. I was so thoroughly impressed with your home and felt an overwhelming peace of God while I was there. The presence of Holy Spirit is so evident all over your home and family. I could barely make it out your driveway without tears streaming down my face. Because of the amazing work you guys are doing I want to donate a AC/heating system, all new duct work, the wiring and installation. You will have the whole package and won't pay a thing. I want to do this for your family. God has been so good to my business and my family and He has placed it on my heart to bless yours. You have other places that budgeted money can be well spent I am sure!

When I picked up my jaw off the floor and wiped away tears I called my hubby and fell in awe of our amazing God who is so big and so evidently seen through our weaknesses, flaws and imperfections!

Today, four guys for six hours worked hard and fully installed and set up our brand new system! God is good all the time, all the time God is GOOD!

3/12/15: Click here to see photo on FB:

Our garden is done! Seeds planted and baby seedlings are a sprouting. It took a lot of work for 3 days straight but we will see what God does as we venture to grow our own produce. It is as big as our house at 2000sqft! A huge thank you to my hubby for tilling the land, it was way harder than one would imagine with all the roots and compacted soil. A shout out to my awesome kiddos, Anthony who cut down every tree that made our garden boxes and Mirabel, Risa and Sam who moved trees and raked and spread lots of old hay! Yay!

3/19/15: Click here to see post on FB:

Our visit to Orlando to see Brittany this past Mon-Wed went part very well and part frustrating. Due to some hiccups we didn't get to participate in all the stuff we planned on, like our CMS medical training or a visit with her school nurse and teacher. But we did get to be a part of a doctor's visit with Brittany and speak with her doctor at length about her aHUS condition. She was all smiles once we were out of the hospital and talking in the parking lot. We also were able to see her later that day briefly at her foster parent's house.

Brittany was much more interactive and talkative and again smiled up a storm around the kids. Little Maggie is so sweet around her. Maggie gently placed her hand on Brittany's leg, "We have yours bed for you in ours room. You will live with us. You can play with my Minnie Mouse kitchen." As we were leaving and promised to come back, Brittany reached out and grabbed my hand with both of hers, she held tight and began repeating, "I want you to stay, I want you to stay." To say the least, it was very hard to leave. The kids already love her and talk about her all the time. We are working on our schedule and budget for the next time we can travel and visit with her. Next visit we should be able to do an overnight visit with her in Orlando.

We have such a wonderful host family in Orlando to stay with and have so much fun visiting even when frustrations arise. Also it has been a blessing to see my family more often and for them to get to know the kiddos, who are pretty fun and awesome!

3/20/15: Click here to see article on FB:

Our guest post "with open arms" about adoption disruption was published yesterday on the blog "No Hands But Ours."

It is about the little known world of adoption disruption. Adoption disruption is a real dilemma in our culture, even in our churches. There are orphaned and children waiting to made family have their adoptions disrupted or dissolved daily. It is a much bigger reality than any of us wish to admit or recognize. Our culture is one of shallow commitments, we see that through the stats on our nation's divorce rate. And to think married people fell in love and both willingly chose each other for life. Often when adopting a child it feels more like an arranged marriage, one in which only one party is making a commitment to love. First comes commitment, then comes adoption then, sometimes much later, comes the moment when we fall in love.

"Attachment takes both parties. A child struggling with attachment needs us, as the parent, to show them a love that they cannot resist. A love that says, “I am going to love you no matter what you do or say to me!” A love that says, “I am going to be here for you whether you want me to be or not, because I love you!” A love that says, “I am not going to let you hurt yourself, me or others because you mean too much to me!” A love that has nothing to do with how we, as parents, feel. We are not toddlers controlled by emotions, but adults who can and must control our emotions.

These children need a love that isn’t a passing warm feeling, but an unwavering commitment. A love that is a daily choice, sometimes a daily battle, but these kids are worth the battle. A love that cannot be shaken by the hard behaviors born in their history of loss and rejection. A love that does not fade or diminish when it is not reciprocated. A love that does not look like any other “love” this world tries to sell us." - Me ;)

Read whole post here:

Click here to see article on No Hands But Ours blog

3/24/15: Click here to see photos on FB:

Easter Egg Hunt at the FL Governor's Mansion. So glad we were invited again this year as the kids look forward to this event every year!

3/31/15: Click here to see photos on FB:

This is where a bleeding heart will you! ;) Sunday night we went to pick up a rescue Great Pyrenees girl who had been living under a shed and needed a home. Apparently she had 6 little puppies who were very sick and we knew they needed to see a vet right away. Mama was sick too and all her milk had dried up, now we have an unexpected $200 vet bill and 6 three-week old puppies that we are bottle feeding.

But aren't they ADORABLE!!! And mama is sweet as pie and is more of a blessing to us then we are to her! Some things in life are about making it a priority to do what is right, not what we have time or money for. Good thing I have some awesome kiddos to help with constant feedings and God's amazing strength to continue to add to our life of busy chaos!

Posted by Shannon

With Open Arms: Adopting From Disruption

Yesterday an awesome blog, "No Hands But Ours" published a guest post we wrote on adoption disruption.

"We have no secret recipe for healing. But we do have a commitment to love these kids the way Jesus loves us. And when we fail and just cannot muster up the strength or feeling to show that love, Jesus supernaturally loves them through us. My goal as mom isn’t for my kids to love me, but for them to love Jesus who is real and lives in me!"- Me 

To see post click here: "with open arms: adopting from disruption"


Posted by Shannon

Soli Deo gloria - Glory to God alone

Turner's Adoption Story Journal - Part Three - Forever, Love and Family!

***This is part three about our 90 day wait until adoption, to read part one which explains the two month process that led up to the big trip click here: Turner's Adoption Story Journal- Part One - Paperwork, Prayers and Miracles! To read part two that tells all about our big trip to Michigan and meeting him for the first time click here: Turner's Adoption Story Journal- Part Two - Trials, Chaos and Hope ***


Turner fit right in from day one. Seriously, it was as if he had always been there. Like we had a hole in our family that only he could fill. God knew what He was doing when He brought us Turner! Since we had moved only a month and a half prior to taking a trip to Michigan we still had a lot of work to do! Turner got to get his hands dirty right away and learned a lot of new things like the character-building task of putting up wire farm fencing through wooded property!

Only days after we arrived home Turner got to witness his new sister, Mirabel, being baptized as a follower for Jesus! (Click here to see baptism video on youtube)

               

On February 25th, only days after Turner joined us we got to celebrate his 8th birthday. I think he got 3 separate cakes and parties that day from all our friends in our church, homeschool and adoptive parent support community!         

On February 26th our 2 week "honeymoon" had ended and some anticipated behaviors began to emerge. This is the first mild angry outburst, crying and shutting down event we had:

When one child was helping another child by cleaning up all his legos so they could come to lunch, he let her know, with much anger, that she was not doing it right and he didn't want her help!

"NO, NO, NO! Those are MY legos! I didn't want you to do that! You ruin EVERYTHING! FINE! Just ruin this too!"

Insert mom to stop the crazy stomping and throwing tantrum, scoop him up in my lap, hold him and begin to whisper: "I am not mad at you. I love you. I need you to listen to me and answer me or we will have to take a break from Legos today and they will have to spend the night in mommy's room. Okay?"

He calmed, but huffed under his breath, "Oh-Kaaay!"

"You are SO smart and creative. You have been given a talent to build anything you think of with legos. You build such wonderful and beautiful creations. Do you know you have legos inside you? Legos to build relationships. You can build beautiful word and actions that help relationships and build others up or you can build mean, ugly words and actions that hinder relationships and hurt others. What kind of word legos do you think you used?"

"Bad ones," came as a whisper.

"You used mean words with your sister, ugly legos. You know how sometimes when we have a big bin of legos the ones you use a lot end up on top but the ones you really need, but don't use often fall to the bottom? I know you have legos that build sweet words, beautiful legos somewhere in there. But because you use the ugly ones, the ones of disobeying and yelling and anger so often they are the easiest to find. Right on top. I would like to help you dig deep and bring out all those legos that I know are in there! It might take a while and a lot of digging. Can we, together, dig down deep and find the beautiful legos of truth and love? And use those legos to build relationships and encourage each other?"

He nodded, wiped the tears from his eyes, "yea I think we can."

So many times, including this one, after we are done talking and hug, I praise God in awe of the words He formed on my lips. In awe of the ceaseless grace He gives me to parent these little ones. I praise Him for the legos He filled me with to build a relationship of love and attachment with my child. 

That was just one of the patience testing fits and angry outbursts that filled up the month of March. Shutting down became a reaction to everything, everything was ignored and he would pick a spot and sit still as stone, sometimes for 10 minutes sometimes for 4 hours. Then all of a sudden he would happily run over to show me a toy or picture and the angry spell was broken. We had many occasions to walk through the process of reconciliation. You can't just get angry and ignore someone you love then act all happy when its conveinent for you. I would stop him and say, "I would love to see what you want to show me but first we need to talk about why you got so angry and ignored me all afternoon and wouldn't play with the family." At first he would blame it on something small like, "I hurt my toe" but as time went on he really began to open up and tell about past hurts and struggles and memories.

I purposed that from the time we picked him up to the time we adopted him we would make sure he knew he was very wanted. Everyday I told him how glad I was that he was with our family. On March 30th he finally responded.
Me: “I am so glad you are here, Samuel!”
Samuel: “You have said that everyday since I came here! Why to you say that!?!”
Me: “Because I am so overwhelmed with joy that you are here that it just overflows. I am truly glad you are here. Would you rather I stop saying it?”
Samuel cracks a smile: “No.”

As March ended and Turner began to mellow out and mesh again we began our search for the perfect name. We gave him four choices to choose from. Samuel was our favorite as it means "heard by God" or "answered by God" and God sure did hear us and answer our prayers for this little boy! We had prayed specifically for a boy Risa's age and here he was, her Chinese twin as she says :) After taking two weeks to really decide one day I called for Turner to come here and when he came he said, "By the way, it's Samuel now. You can call my Sam." That was that. Everytime a sibling or Brian or I would stumble and say Turner he would correct us right away, "it's Sam now." We decided that he would be given the new first name Samuel, we would keep Turner as a middle name in honor to the place his previous adoptive parents had in his life, Tianqi was his name in the Chinese orphanage and that would stay as a 2nd middle name and he would inherit our family name as his new last name.
           
April came and went like a blur, our mini farm was in full swing, it felt like we were being called to take in unwanted pets every day! Plus our two week family vacation to TX made the month fly by! Samuel was blossoming more and more everyday! He was becoming an excellent helper, was great during school and such a joy to be around. He began to talk about how much God was doing in his life and caught me off guard when he interrupted me one morning to tell me that he now knows why God purposed him to come here, to this family. Sam told me that, “God said, I will put him in a home where he will learn more about Me.” And learning about Jesus he is!

It has been amazing to see how tender his heart is and how he just adores learning what God has said in His Word. Samuel talks often of how he wants to go back to China, how there is so much idol worship there, and how he wants to become a missionary to tell them about Jesus. What an amazing little boy God has sent us!

  

On May 21st, 2014 our 90 days wait period was over and Samuel Turner Tianqi became legally ours! The court adoption was beautiful! Over 25 of our church and homeschool family came to witness. The judge had Sam come right up next to her and told him the story of Samuel from the bible and how his name means, "prayed for" or "heard by God"! She even had Sam sign the Final Judgement of Adoption with his hand on hers saying "if you sign this it means FOREVER!" She then had all our guests join hands and called our pastor over to pray over us! It was more like a church service than an adoption! A moment of pure bliss! The perfect memory of how our Sam was born into our family!

  

Watch Sam's adoption video here!

Posted by Shannon
Soli Deo gloria - Glory to God alone

Turner's Adoption Story Journal - Part Two - Trials, Chaos and Hope!

***This is part two about our trip to Michigan, to read part one which explains the two month process that led up to this trip click here: Turner's Adoption Story Journal - Part One - Paperwork, Prayers and Miracles! ***

We arrived in TN on Saturday 2/8 evening to visit with our friends, the D family. They are an amazingly encouraging family with 3 bio and 4 adopted children. We were excited to spend the weekend with them as we waited for Monday to roll around and our ICPC paperwork to arrive in FL for processing. The weekend flew by, we were blessed by the D's loving hospitality and the kids had a blast. Monday 2/10 early morning we got word from FL that they hadn't received our ICPC packet yet but were on the lookout for it and it would take 2-3 days to process once it had arrived. We packed up, said our goodbyes to our wonderful friends and headed north with the hopes the paperwork would arrive that day and we would be released by Wednesday 2/12.

Our dream is one day to have a house in the rolling mountains of TN!



Since we only made it 4 hours north to Cinncinati, OH by dinnertime we decided to park there for the night and enjoy our northern loves, Skyline Chili and the Creation Musuem! Tuesday 2/11 we enjoyed the warm, free inside activities the museum offered and checked in with the ICPC office around lunchtime. 

Bad news. 

The packet was not sent expedited mail on Friday 2/7 as we had thought, it hadn't even arrived yet to begin processing. We began brainstorming. All we could do is pray and trust. We decided to pray with faith that the paperwork would be recieved and not held up any later than Friday 2/14. God is faithful. Even though our stay in MI was becoming longer than planned we didn't want to miss out on any more time with our new son. We left OH and began the last 4 hour trek to MI arriving after sundown. After a long and noisy night boondocking at a rest station we were ready to be at his house on Wednesday 2/12 at 9am.

More bad news. 

Our RV wouldn't start, it wouldn't even try, no lights, sound, nothing. Must be the battery, we probably just needed a jump. As we stood outside in the single digit temperature, looking under the hood, we prayed "Lord, please send us someone to jump us." We looked around and asked the dozen other truck drivers that were parked around us. No one was willing or able. We called our roadside assistance service. They would come out in an hour or so but all normal charges would apply and what if it was more than a jump, a repair wasn't in the travel budget. We prayed again. "Lord, search our hearts, you know we just want to meet our son, please start our vehicle!" Our kids won't forget the miracle that happened next, Brian put the key in the ignition and the RV reved right up. I won't forget the silence on the other end of the phone when I called roadside assistance back only minutes later to say, "never mind, we don't need service, we prayed and God fixed our RV!"

It was a little nerves mixed with excitement that churned inside me as we waited at the door. A stack of boxes and suitcases greeted us in the foyer when the door opened. We stepped inside and a little boy with the same face as the child in the picture on our fridge, that we have been praying for since December, came forward and greeted us. "This is Turner, he is ready to go." And just like that he happily told us what was in each box and suitcase then darted down the front steps and to the RV. "Turner, do you need to know our names before you leave with us?" I stopped him. "Um, sure." We knelt down, introduced ourselves to our new son and walked him to our RV where he was greeted by five smiling children. We had prayed for him so often that even Titus and Maggie pointed from their seats, "Mama, Ter-ner, Ter-ner!"

Our new son joins us for the first time!

We sat down around the table for lunch at a local buffet. "Turner, we pray and thank God for our food before we eat, have you prayed before?"

"No."

"Okay, well have you ever heard of Jesus?"

"No."

"Well, that is the God we pray to, you will learn a lot about Him, let's pray."

All the campgrounds in Michigan were closed for the winter with 4 feet of snow on the ground. A local KOA campground had mercy on us, they plowed a spot and let us plug into the electrical outlet outside the bathrooms. After 15 minutes of waist-deep playing in the snow the kids were back in the warm RV changing into dry clothes and playing legos and board games. I had a barrage of phone calls and emails to decipher and spent a couple hours in the bathroom hallway in tears mudding through it all. We did find out that MI ICPC emailed all documents directly to FL since the mailed copies still had not been recieved. After explaining our situation and desire to go home with our son to the FL ICPC office I was told to "take a chill pill" and that they could take 10-14 days and even deny the request which would place Turner in foster care. Then email after email piled in my inbox with numerous additional required documents and paperwork, 23 items total, were needed to approve us to leave MI. Next thing we know this email came in:

"ICPC received a phone call from an anonymous person who claimed to be an attorney here in FL. This person stated that your family moved and now lives in a run-down mobile home that this anonymous attorney described as unhealthy to live in. This anonymous person also said the person with ICPC is being bad-mouthed over the internet, being called obstructionist, etc. The anonymous source stated that she has significant concerns regarding the new living conditions of your family. At minimum, an updated Home Assessment needs to be done now."

Bizarre. Just bizarre.

I was crying in the bathroom when Brian came in. We will never leave. Not with a new home visit and all the documents required. It could take weeks. We prayed, prayed boldly that God would perform more mightly miracles and let us leave by Friday 2/14. I have to admit it took me until Monday the following week to forgive this "anonymous attorney" for their call that labeled our family a "home with concerns" and threatened to send our son into state foster care. If you are reading this and you are this anonymous attorney, I forgive you.

I gathered my emotions, gave them to God and went to join Brian and the kids for a quiet, and cozy evening cooped up in the 250sqft RV.

  

Thursday 2/13 brought a blessed distraction from the previous day's emotional roller coaster. We spent lunch and dinner fellowshipping and playing with new friends, the G family! They have 12 adopted children and loads of encouraging experience in all things adoption, including ICPC! This was the family behind the His Hands His Feet Today Facebook page where we first learned of our son's need for adoption! We parted ways only after I joined KG for a special church service that evening and promised to update her as long as we were in MI.

We had been praying boldly for God to let us go home Friday 2/14, on Valentine's Day! Friday morning we headed to Ypsilanti, MI closer to the border to hang out and faithfully wait for the call! For only $22 we spent the morning and afternoon at the Michigan Firehouse Museum having loads of fun!

Adoption is a hurry-up-and-wait game.

Just as we were leaving and looking for a place to eat lunch we recieved two urgent documents that had to be notarized immediately. We found an OfficeMax to print the documents from my email, then found a local bank to wait and have them notarized, and then back to OfficeMax to scan documents in and email them back to our attorney. Even with rushing around this process took almost two hours. Happy Valentine's Day. We were sure that with all that urgency we would be released once ICPC recieved them. We went to lunch/dinner at Costco and waited until 5pm came and went. No call. Nothing. Documents sent in but no word, it seemed we would be stuck in Michigan for the weekend, possibly even all next week! Feeling let down, we stocked up on some more food for our lengthened stay. Since we were much farther south than the previous campground we stayed at we tried to find anywhere else. The navigation system directed us incorrectly for two hours around closed snowed-in roads resulting in us getting stuck twice and manuvering very difficult u-turns for a 32ft RV on dark, icy roads. Finally we found a parking spot in a closed state park. Water was shut off and we were out of water. Sewage dump site was under 4 feet of snow and we were way over due on dumping our sewage tanks....ew. Bathrooms and facilities were closed and locked. Then we noticed that overnight warm water had seeped through our bathroom floor meaning we had a frozen pipe and a leak...ugh.

It was not a fun night.

We were frustrated, angry and sad. We wanted to go home. We were tired of snow, ice and everything frozen. I wanted warm water and a shower. We were worried about the increasing attorney and social worker costs due to all this additional ICPC paperwork. We were worried about running out of funds in our travel budget if this trip was extended into next week. We were worried about Brian missing work and losing income. This is not how it was supposed to go. Where was God? We truly believed He would answer our prayers. We truly believed He would make a miraculous way for us to go home TODAY. We spilled our hearts and disappointments before the Lord and sought Him in His Word. We know God is sovereign and always good. We know God always pursues His perfect will, even when we don't know what that is. Even when we are just plain upset with His plan.



New mercies each morning.

Our fridge completely froze overnight, cereal and frozen milk for breakfast! On Saturday 2/15 our social worker, JB, who completed our homestudy back in December made a visit out with a friend to our new place. She, once again, approved our home to adopt. Around lunchtime she called to fulfill ICPC's additional requirements of interviews with the children. We passed the phone around as each child told JB, again, that they in fact wanted Turner to stay and be their brother.

Good news.

We expressed a need for prayer as we were struggling with the sad news of a longer stay and increasing attorney (ICPC), social worker (homestudy) and travel costs. Before I could even begin to think about fundraising, between 8am and 12pm on Saturday 2/15 morning God's people flooded our accounts with $3155 toward bringing Turner home! We have never been so excited to write the remaining checks when we get back home! Still has me in awe just thinking about it!

More good news.

A friend in FL who are members of ATI found a couple other members in their directory that lived up near Flint, MI so we could have friends to fellowship with and pass the time quickly. A wonderful man, GC, got in touch with us and told us that his wife and 7 kids were out of town at a funeral but he would love to have us stay with him as long as we needed to stay in MI. We were strangers, had never met before. GC was full of joy and so sweet to open up his entire home of empty beds and toys for us to enjoy! It really felt like the biblical hospitality you only read about in Acts!

   
The home church we visited on Sunday 2/16 morning, at the V family's house, was so encouraging. We brought boiled peanuts, which allowed much amusement as our northern brothers and sisters had never even heard of them before. The all day fellowship was sweet and the cute northern accents and different phrases kept me smiling! "Oh my stars! Where is my pop?" We even borrowed one of the V family's sons to visit America's Largest Christmas Store in Frankenmuth, MI. We enjoyed his company, presents and jellybeans!

Thank you again, Nicholas, for joining us! 

As Monday 2/17 rolled around we were actually sad to leave our new MI friends. GC was too sweet spending our last morning there playing many games with our kids while Brian and I responed to emails, cleaned up and packed all our stuff back in the RV. We were about to have to make a decision about whether Brian would head back home to work, leaving some or all of us in MI to wait, when our attorney said she was sure she could get us approval to leave today! We were on the road headed south by 3pm, a little anxious we would be wasting gas and have to turn around, but trusting in our good God's perfect will and plan this time.



At 4pm that Monday the email finally came! We could go home!!! We weren't done jumping through ICPC hoops just yet though, more awaited us in FL. Our attorney forwarded us the email from ICPC: "Praise The Lord and leave Michigan now before they want something else from me. -CT" 

"Florida is providing PROVISIONAL placement approval for this family
to return to Florida with Turner.

Florida requires an updated addendum to include face-to-face private
interviews with the children within 30 days."

We drove all night! 1000 miles from 4pm to 9am, stopping only for one more to-go dinner at Skyline Chili in OH, coffee and gas. We definitely felt your prayers as we drove through a snowstorm, ice and 25mph wind. Brian was able to make it in to work a little after 9am Tuesday 2/19 and we made it to our Classical Conversations weekly class. It was so nice to be home! No more snow! No more cold, it was 70 degrees and sunny, I packed up my snow boots and dawned a pair of flip-flops! 

  

Home Sweet Home!

State of FL law says that a child must be in your home, monitored by a social worker, for 90 days before you can legalize the adoption in front of a judge.
Stay tuned for "Turner's Adoption Story Journal - Part Three - Forever, Love and Family" as I journal the next 3 months up to the day Turner officially becomes our adopted son!




Posted by Shannon
Soli Deo gloria - Glory to God alone 

Turner's Adoption Story Journal - Part One - Paperwork, Prayers and Miracles!

This is a story of God weaving His perfect will into our lives:

I inquired about a child on Tuesday 12/3 after seeing this sentence shared on a Facebook page: "I know of a 7 yr old boy (originally adopted from China 3 yrs ago) here in Michigan that is looking for a new family. Please private message me for more info if you are homestudy approved and interested in more info! Thanks!"

I messaged right away, even though we didn't have a current homestudy. Something struck me about this ad. Everytime our kids pray for us to adopt again they pray for a boy (to even out the number of boys and girls in the family) and they pray that he is Risa's age but a little older (that way every one has a "twin"; Anthony, 11, is just older than Mirabel, Titus, 2, is just older than Maggie). Even if we weren't the family for him, I share children in need on our "5 kids 6 months" page on Facebook so I wanted more to this little guy's story. The lady from the adoption agency, let's call her HD, sent me two documents, one had pictures and one had a description:

"Turner" – 7 year old boy (almost 8), adopted from China in 2010.

Health:
Turner was adopted with a nevus on his face. They have started surgeries to have this removed for cosmetic reasons, but stopped when Turner had a strong emotional reaction to the last surgery. He also has a tumor in his mouth, but the doctors are not concerned about it and do not feel it needs treatment.

Strengths:
Turner is an optimistic and cheerful, energetic little boy. He has a sweet, endearing personality and loves to talk. He is obedient and eager to please, and is always ready to hold your hand. Turner loves books. He is intelligent, and has no difficulty meeting grade level expectations. He is curious, and always eager to be involved in activities going on around him. He loves to build, and enjoys imaginative play, both alone and with others.

Weaknesses and concerns:
Turner is easily swayed by peer pressure. He has trouble remembering rules and following routines when not directly under adult supervision. He needs help identifying and owning his emotions, as well as regulating his emotions. Turner often lacks the confidence needed to challenge himself. He prefers to be babied rather than be independent. When Turner feels threatened, he plays a passive aggressive role in what he perceives to be power struggles. Turner has been diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder and PTSD.

Best Fit:
Turner would thrive in a family who has a strong support system, and who is able to devote the time and attention to Turner's emotional needs. Ideally, I would recommend a placement with a family who does not have any children younger than or close in age to Turner, in order to not perpetuate the simulation of an institution. However, I believe that in an experienced family with a good support system, other children may not be as much of an issue."

*Turner is a child that was adopted in 2010 from China and due to family stresses and attachment issues the family that adopted him no longer feels fit and able to parent him. This is called an Adoption Disruption (read an article here). Out of love and wanting the best for him they contacted the agency that originally helped them bring him home from China to help find him a new family. I sympathize with the family, God alone knows their story and God loves them as much as He loves Turner.*

We were the only family that had inquired about him. I thanked HD and told her we would be willing to adopt him but we are not homestudy ready and we have three younger children so we don't meet the adoptive family's (lets call them AF) qualifications. We would begin praying for Turner to find the perfect family. On Thursday 12/5 at 9am I emailed five very close people to join with us to pray for this little boy. We prayed that God would raise up the perfect family for him.

God moved that same day! At 4pm HD, from the agency, called to let me know that a family with older children inquired and was very serious about adopting Turner. Again I got to see God's power (so far almost every child we inquire about finds a better suited home right away!). HD told me she would submit the new family's info to the AF on Monday 12/9 morning and asked if we wanted to submit our family bio as well. I told her that we prayed God would raise up another family and that we didn't have a homestudy to submit. I thanked HD for her time and praised God for His will for this child!


The end.

That should be the end, and I kept meaning to send a second email to my fab five to thank them for praying with me.

But God wasn't done.

--------------------
I received a call Tuesday 12/10 at 3pm from HD. She said that she presented ‎‎the willing family to the current AF and they asked if there was anyone else who inquired about Turner. HD then asked if she could submit us to the AF as another willing family. I thought she wanted to do that maybe to be able to say to the AF, "See this only other family that inquired (us) doesn't meet your requirements." Done deal. End of story.

I said "Sure, I don't have anything written up and our homestudy isn't ready." She asked if she could just show them our blog. I agreed. I didn't think another second about it, didn't think I would receive a ‎call back. They would see by our blog. They would see that we had young kids. They would see we are a large, busy homeschool family. And we didn't have a homestudy.

HD did call back at 5pm the same day. ‎She thanked me for letting her show our blog to the family and said it made their decision easier. Her next sentence almost made me drop the phone, "They looked over your blog and fell in love with your family, they know you are the family for their son!"

I am still in shock and awe of what God is doing! 

But worries began to run through my mind. We don't have a current home study done. Can we get a home study completed by the end of the year? We don't know what all the cost involved is. Could we raise the money it will take to bring him home?

--------------------
First, the homestudy. I spent the entire next day, 12/11, on the phone with two agencies in our county. I spoke to 5 people and all said that it is absolutely IMPOSSIBLE to complete our homestudy before late February. One lady nicely called me crazy for even thinking it could be done before Christmas. Also the private domestic homestudy that this adoption would require would cost $1500-1800. It was a dead end. They needed homestudy ready family for Turner, for sure they wouldn't wait on us.
 
"God, if you want us to adopt Turner you are going to have to get this homestudy done." 

Then I got one last option. There is this private social worker, JB, that does homestudies on the side, maybe she can do it. For sure if we couldn't afford the state's fees, we couldn't afford a private worker's fees. I called JB with little hope. I explained our situation, how we have all our paperwork ready, we got our fingerprints done, we went in for our physicals, we did our background checks, we just need a home visit and the final written report. She said she can only do one homestudy at a time, but it just so happens that the very moment I called she just finished and hit "send" on the only one on her plate and she had no others lined up. She said with everything so far along she should only need 2 weeks to complete it and she would only charge us $500. I am totally in awe!

Is anything impossible with God?

 --------------------
On Thursday 12/12 we got to meet Turner's adoptive parents via a video conference call with the agency. They told us more about Turner and their long road of therapies and attachment counseling. They asked us about our knowledge of RAD, our upcoming move, our homeschooling and our support system. We shared our struggles, our parenting strengths and mistakes and our love regardless of behavior that only Jesus gives us.  I really have a heart for this mother. She is in a place I have been. She feels isolated and rejected by her child, friends and others. She feels "emotionally bankrupt." The call ended on the note that they are 99% sure they wanted to move forward with us, they just needed to talk about it and get back with us. It was also agreed that once they tell Turner (no, he doesn't know anything is changing yet) they don't want to prolong the move. Although our prayers are with the AF, we are 100% sure we will take Turner if they choose this route.
 
JB called later in the day schedule our home visit for Saturday 12/14 and to encourage us to get in touch with an attorney, named CT, she uses for adoptions. We made an attorney consultation appointment for Tuesday, 12/17 and the first fee would be $100. Then my mind ran back to the financial worry. Where will we get the money to see this through?

Well, with 5 kids I can't sit too long on the worry train so life went on. We stopped by a local thrift store that we regular for the kids to shop for Christmas gifts with their hard earned money. The kids of course blurted out to a manager we know and love there that they will soon have a new brother. I caught her up with the events God was seeing through and she asked how much money would it cost. After telling her she loaded our car with boxes of brand new items donated from Walmart for us to sell to raise some of the money.

Amazing. Again, only God!

As soon as we got back home my phone rang, it was HD from Turner's adoption agency. She wanted to announce that the AF had for sure chosen and felt confident in us to complete the adoption. She wanted our attorney's information so we could move forward. Good thing I had called an attorney earlier that day and had one to give her!

We were chosen!

This story is getting long huh? As I was updating all the events above little Maggie popped up on my lap. She pointed to the boy in the picture. "That is Turner, sweetheart."
Her huge green eyes met mine, "Ter-ner" she says very carefully, "black face".
"Yes, sweetheart, Turner does have some black on his face."
"Titus"
"Yes, baby, like Titus' skin. Turner has yellow and brown skin. Turner needs a home, can he be your big brother?"
"An-ton-ee big bruda."
"Yes, Anthony is your big brother, can Turner be your big brother too?"
"Yesh! Ter-ner bruda."
Mirabel after watching the sweet reaction of her baby sister added, "Mom, I think Turner will like it here, we have all been through what he has been through. We have all had his behavior and RAD issues. We will be able to show him so much love." Our kids have all been ecstatic from day one, we have kept them in the loop this entire time.

This is feeling real.

This will change our thriving family dynamic. This will alter all our lives forever. I will be the mom of 6 precious lives. I put all the kids to bed and fear gripped me. I am human. I get scared. I cry. I weep. I feel inadequate. I wonder if I am truly following God's will. I still struggle with a desire to be a perfect mom. I realize how weak I am. I still require grace minute by minute. Then He shows me, again, His strength, His refuge, His love. God has been so good. I am so thankful He gave me the grace to embrace His will. I am more thankful He gives me the grace to sustain that same will.

Now to wait, begin fundraising, and get to Tuesday without more mental breakdowns.

   
--------------------
It's Wednesday 12/18, God has provided $600 through generous donations for this adoption so far! That is exactly the $500 for JB's homestudy cost and $100 for the attorney consultation fee that we needed to move forward!

Only God can make this adoption possible!

The meeting yesterday with the attorney, CT, went GREAT! CT is so sweet and knowledgable on foreign, interstate, disruption, private and domestic adoptions! She said she will work with us on all cost involved. Friday is also the perspective date of a conference call between all MI and FL workers working on this adoption. They will discuss the best route for Turner's adoption and the timeline of events!

----------------------

Oh my! It is Friday 12/20 and our homestudy is completed! We had to have it to our attorney by 12pm today to have in notarized and sent to Michigan before everyone is closed next week!

At 11:15am I received a call from our social worker, "I am sending the homestudy to you now but I need it signed by you and Brian and to the attorney by 12pm."

I was driving kids to Nanny's house, so we went home to print signature page at 11:25am it still wasn't in my inbox.

So I drove to Nanny's to drop kids off and print it out there, after traffic and a computer boot up I had signature page in my hand by 11:55am.

Drove to Chick-fil-A, cut in long lunch line to interrupt a woman giving Brian her order, "Sign please! So sorry ma'am, we are adopting a child and this has to be to our attorney in 60 seconds! Thanks Hon! Bye!" By her stern look she didn't care, oh well.

Thankfully attorney's office was just up the road and I ran in at 12:05pm. They waited on me and sent it to MI.

I promised God that I wouldn't rush this process due to excitement or hinder it due to fear. I would follow any timeline He places on the agency's heart! We were told a homestudy done before Christmas was impossible. Well, the impossible just happened because only 9 days later our homestudy is completed and in the hands of our attorney!

 

"Nothing is Impossible with God" is certainly not just a cliché! (Luke 1:37)

 

We were told not to expect to hear anything until after January 1st. So now we wait.

------------------------

It's Tuesday, January 14th. There has been lots of miscommunication, missing information and waiting. We still don't have an exact timeline but it's been busy in our home, seems like God has sent us lots of healthy distractions to keep me from being incredibly impatient. 

I did finally speak with our attorney it is understood we will have to fund more than she originally thought. We need $2500 in her hand before she can proceed through the court paperwork, she said by Friday, 1/17. Once we have funding and she starts the process Turner could be with us in 2-3 short weeks! God hasn't let us down yet. It seems impossible to raise that much money in three days. If this is God's will and plan He will see it through. We will just wait.

The Lord will provide!
--------------------

PRAISE THE LORD!!!
Our $2500 for the attorney was due 12pm today, 1/17. Guess what!?! At 11:50am we had $2500 EXACTLY in our account! This is not the end, only the beginning step. There is still remaining attorney fees and travel cost to get to Michigan, wait on court to release us and come back to FL. So far God has provided and He will again! We promised we would not rush this adoption or hinder it, we will let only God in His grand provision move it forward!!!
----------------------

At the attorney’s office today, Monday 1/20, for a conference call between all parties. We are hoping for some clarification on this, new to us, ICPC paperwork process. ICPC is the Interstate Compact of the Placement of Children. It was established and exists to keep track of all children crossing state lines during an adoption process. The ICPC paperwork begins in the “sending state” (in this case MI) then is sent to the “receiving state” (in this case FL) to be sure both states approve and accept responsibility for the child until they are legally adopted. In FL a child has to be in your home for 90 days before you can legally adopt them. During this time a licensed social worker will visit every 30 days for a total of 3 times to be sure all in the home are adjusting well. At this point the ICPC paperwork will be started and once it is completed and submitted it takes 7-14 days for us to receive a “consent of release”, basically a call saying, “come pick up your new son!”
--------------------

Adoption is a constant "Hurry-up and Wait" game.

We rush to get additional documents signed and in then wait, rush to tie up some loosed ends then wait. It is almost February and we have been doing a lot of hurry-uping and waiting. We have to decide on travel to get to MI. We are debating between taking a week vacation with the whole family and traveling in our RV to pick up Turner or Brian and I flying directly to MI and directly back to FL with Turner. At this point we are leaving it in God's hands and His perfect will. He knows Turner best and what form of travel would be best for him. We will just pray that whatever money God provides for this travel we will use for His purpose. We will wait and see....
--------------------

In just 4 days $1560 poured in through generous donations! That is a huge answered prayer and means we will plan RV travel from here on out!

GOD IS GOOD!
---------------------

It is Tuesday, February 4th and we have word that all paperwork was submitted to MI ICPC for approval. We are being told 2-3 days for approval then 2-3 days approval time from FL. Our prayer is if there are no hold ups and MI approves our paperwork by Friday 2/7 we will head up to MI to pick up our son and wait on FL's final approval. In the meantime we will begin packing our RV to prepare for God to move on Friday!
---------------------

Friday, 2/7 at 3pm our prayers were heard and we recieved MI APPROVAL! We are loading up and will leave first thing in the morning! We take a nice slow drive up to MI, stopping in TN halfway and picking up Turner on Tuesday 2/11. We are hoping for FL approval by Wednesday 2/12 and we will make it a slow and eventful ride back to FL! Off we GO!

 

Stay tuned for "Turner's Adoption Story Journal - Part Two - Trials, Chaos and Hope" as I write about our travels, hardships and joy in Michigan!


Posted by Shannon
Soli Deo gloria - Glory to God alone