Our Family in the News

There were two stories that were published and aired today.

1.
The first was an article about Brittney and her amazing Guardian-ad-litem (GAL) who helped push for her to come home! The article, by Nancy Kinnally with the FL Bar Foundation, is well-written and sheds light on the deeper pieces of her story and eventually finding a forever family:

"Brittney, 11, smiles broadly and extends her hand in greeting to welcome a visitor to her family’s Tallahassee farm, where she and her six siblings help care for a menagerie that includes dogs, cats, ponies, goats, chickens, rabbits, a donkey and a cow named Buttercream.

Born prematurely and with a panoply of medical disorders that could shorten her lifespan, Brittney spent years in and out of Orlando hospitals and medical foster homes until Brian and Shannon got a phone call from a Wendy’s Wonderful Kids recruiter asking if they would consider adopting her. 

“We told her, ‘Yes, we would absolutely be interested in taking this little girl,’ because we believe that all life is valuable and that all children deserve a loving family, whether they are going to pass away, whether they have special needs, no matter what the issues are,” Shannon said. “We made a commitment to God a long time ago that if we were ever called to take a child we would consider that a call from Him.”.....

Here is the link to read the entire article:
A long legal road leads to a permanent home for Brittney

2.
The second was a 4 minute news segment, that aired on France2 TV. They inquired with us about their interest in covering a segment on American adoption disruptions since disrupting an adoption is not allowed in France. They traveled to us in FL from Washington D.C. to spend the afternoon filming our lives and interviewing Sam on his experience being adopted twice. We can't express what a sweet crew they were to work with, so natural and patient. 

"One of the more charming segments I've produced at France 2 Washington DC in a while. This one tells the story of Sam, a child from China who was adopted but then given up by his adoptive parents. Thank god he wasn't sent back to the orphanage in China, but taken in by Brian and Shannon in Florida, the 5 Kids 6 Months family. What you see here is love for children by other families who believe in third chances." - Sabrina Buckwalter, producer at France2

Here is link to watch the video news story:
États-Unis : des petites annonces pour réadopter un enfant déjà adopté une première fois

Since it is in French, it was made for France2 TV after all, below is the English translation of the video:
ENGLISH TRANSLATION:
"The little boy is only 10 years old and yet he already has a past saddled with pain and separation.
A birthmark deforms his face but that is a mere detail in comparison to all the suffering he's been through.

Sam has been through an orphanage in China and 2 adoptive families in the US.
18 months ago, his first adoptive parents decided to cede him to another couple. 

Sam precisely recalls the shock he felt at the time:
SOT (Sam, readopted child): "2 days before I was taken they announced it to me, that I was going to have a new house, a new home.

SOT (Valerie Astruc, Reporter) - How did you react?

SOT (Sam, readopted child) - I was scared. They did not think that I was a nice child, but I still was attached to them."

With his new parents, Sam often watches the home videos his previous family had left for him.
Images of apparent bliss, but the child had reactive attachments disorders at that times.
His first adoptive parents therefore decided to give Sam to another family.

SOT (Shannon, Sam's 2nd adoptive mother): "It wasn't that they were neglectful by any means. But it was Sam's behavior, he behaved himself in a way that created a rift, there was a bond that was very hindered."

The little boy has had to learn live with his new brothers and sisters, 6 in total, all adopted by Brian and Shannon, a devout couple who did in the name of Jesus.

Sam's first months in his new family were very testing:
SOT (Sam) : "When I first arrived, I'd get very angry. When I wouldn't get what I wouldn't get my way, I would shut down, and wouldn't talk.

SOT (Shannon, Sam's 2nd adoptive mother) : - Yeah. Sometimes it'd be for hours, yeah. And then we in the family would start thinking, 'Well, what did we do, why are you so mad at us?'. But we understood that he had lost a lot."

Adopted children that change parents, there exists hundreds in the United States. No specific number can be posited as the phenomenon is fairly recent.

SOT (Valerie Astruc, Reporter) : "No federal law prohibits the transfer of an adopted children into a new family. A handful of states require that they go before a tribunal but in the majority of cases, the procedure is rather simple."

On the internet, specialized agencies publish little blurbs drafted by adoptive parents that wish to separate themselves from their adoptive children. Beneath Landon's picture, 8 years old, this is what it reads:
"The arrival of this hyperactive child is not what we expected."

Another face, another story, and another comment:
"Abby needs a house with parents that are calm and patient to help her."

All these posts are perfectly legal and regulated.
This lawyer explains that a home study and backgrounds checks suffices to carry out the transfer of a child between 2 adoptive families, with no intervention from public authorities.

SOT (Christine Thurman, Lawyer specialized in Family Affairs) : "What we're seeing is a trend for 2nd chance families. Apparently they'll want to take on someone with a level of confidentiality, they do not want people to know that there is a new child. After the first child [in the case of a first adoption] there's often a lot of celebration, and then the child just disappears."

Once a child has changed homes, an agency that has been certified by social services comes to make sure that everything is in order.

This couple has re-adopted this 8 year old girl.
Marian is the one who had linked the 2 families up, took care of the transfer procedures and now routinely makes sure the child is doing ok.

SOT (Marian Huet, Director, Love & Hope, Adoptive Services) : "It's very safe."
This disruption from adoption practice remains fairly marginal . And apparently nobody seems to blame families for going back on their decision to adopt a given child.

SOT (Vanessa Smith, 2nd adoptive mother) : "They get a child who is really "damaged" or "hurt", often from abroad and they don't know much about the child or the environment he grew up in."

SOT (Marian Huet, Director, Love & Hope, Adoptive Services) : "It's better to have a re-adoption than staying in a home where it is not working. It's like being in a very bad marriage where people stay together for the wrong reasons."

In the US, the number of readoptions is not limited. In other words, a child can change adoptive families several times, before he reaches the age of 18."



Posted by Shannon

Best of Facebook: January 2015

1/15/15: Click here to see post on FB:

I was up until 12am last night making decorations for an upcoming baby shower. Brian asked if I was doing okay, if there was any sadness. I was able to genuinely say that I was so excited for this expectant mama and poured myself into serving her that I didn't have time to be sad! I love how God tells us to serve others, and if we really do, how much healing and comfort we recieve in return!

Ways we have served our pregnant friends in the past are coming over to help clean their house, bringing by nausea care packages, watch their other children on super sick days or doctor appts, bring them meals, create a painting or wall mural for their newborn, help with decorations or baby shower planning, etc.

When you, pregnant mama, are rejoicing in your pregnancy even the hardships, it makes it easier for me to rejoice with you. But when you complain, whine and become bitter about the body changes, pain or sickness you are experiencing due to your pregnancy, it begats bitterness in me. All I can think about is, "What I wouldn't give to experience life inside me, how I would take all these passing discomforts just for the chance."Click here for blog post: Pregnant Mama, Know that I Sorrowfully Rejoice with You 


1/17/15: Click here to see post on FB:

This article perfectly addresses the attachment comment that we recieved 100 times while we were foster parents, "Oh, I could never be a foster parent! I would just get to attached!"

"By God’s grace, we will survive the grief of giving up our foster son. Though the pain will be great, we have the coping skills and resources to deal with the loss. But if he were to go without the love and attachment he needs at this point in his development, he couldn't simply catch up later in life. It’s crucial for his sake that we risk the pain of getting “too attached.”

Jesus says, “Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it” (Matt. 10:39). We want to lose our lives for the sake of our foster son—not only because he needs us to, but because Christ met our even more desperate need. Every dirty diaper, every nighttime feeding, every heart-wrenching visit with his birth parents, and every court date and call from his social worker remind us that we are losing our lives. We are giving our hearts away to this little boy we have no promise of keeping. Still, no matter the sacrifices we make, they pale compared to all that Christ sacrificed to save us." From article, read on:

Click here to see article: "Wanted: Parents Willing to Get Too Attached"

1/18/15: Click here to see post on FB:

This page just hit 1,000, which is crazy! Only 100 of those are people that we are personally know and are friends with on FB. This started as such a humble page for a tiny family blog, now it feels like an extention of our own family, a place for encouragement, gentle criticism, and overwhelming support as we walk this narrow road with lots of bumps, hurdles and trials.

I want to take this opportunity to make it clear that we are SO imperfect. We mess up daily. We are tempted and we sin. We sometimes overlook bad attitudes in our own hearts as we counsel our children on theirs. We struggle to daily lay ourselves on the altar (Rom 12:1), to sacrifice our own wants and desires for others inside and out of our family. We truly are "an imperfect family following the will of a perfect God!"

Thank you for your support and ongoing prayers! They mean the world to us and are greatly needed. It feels like the bigger our blog becomes the more we are stalked and tempted by the evil one, who is ready to pounce and devour (1Pet 5:8). We pray our faith is strengthened, our dross is refined, and our love for the Lord is greater this year than ever before! We pray that we may glorify God in all we say and do and continually be striving to point people, not to us, but to Jesus!

1/21/15: Click here to see post on FB:

"This journey of adopting hurting kids is truly walking in the footsteps of Jesus. We get to extend love to little people with, sometimes, no love reciprocated back. We get to love unconditionally just as Jesus loved the crowd that shouted "crucify Him" with all His heart that He laid down His own life for them!

"For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, “Abba! Father!” The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him." (Romans 8:15-17).

I love how He tells us not to fear! We know our adoption is secure and we are children and heirs of Christ. He gives us an amazing hope of glory if we suffer with Him. Don't fear the hurt and suffering adoption may bring, it is in this that we can glorify our Father in Heaven and later be glorified! We can adopt because we are adopted! We can love these children because we are SO loved!"
-by 5Kids6Months; re-posted from May 7th, 2014

1/23/15: Click here to see post on FB:

We received a call from an adoption recruiter with Wendys' Wonderful Kids program with the Dave Thomas Foundation today. She said she had saw our old profile on AdoptUsKids.org and felt we were a match for some of the kids she was trying to place. She told us about several medically special needs children, one in particular, Brittany, she really wanted us to meet. She has several medically needy children and two sibling groups (one of 4 kids, the other of 3 kids) she is desperately trying to advocate for and find FL families for. (If you are interested in sibling groups or not fearful of medical needs and are a FL homestudy ready family then I will give you her email address).

We prayed long ago, before any child stepped in our home, that we would to be open and willing to take ANY child God called us for.

Well, "God, was that You?" Pray for Brittany as they send us her full child profile and we begin to pray God's will for our family.

1/23/15: Click here to see post on FB:

(Follow-up to previous post): Well...Brittany's full child study is scary and overwhelming at first read. We read it to the kids and they all said, "Of course we should adopt her!"

I reminded them of some of the huge needs, like, "What about the fact that she may not live to see her 18th birthday due to aHUS? Or that she is completely bound to her wheelchair, being fed via G-tube? And will take away some of my attention to attend to her needs?"

All the children thought and agreed with Anthony's response, "Mom, what if we are her only chance at knowing what it is like to have a family? She has spent 8 years already in fostercare, if we don't say yes, then who will?"

Isaiah 6:8 is reeling through my head, "Here I am Lord, send me!"

Anyone want to remind me of all the stuff I post on this page about following Jesus and not fear?....

1/27/15: Click here to see post on FB:

So 4 days ago we receive a call from Wendy's Wonderful Kids recruiter about a little girl named Brittany (info in previous post) and we began to pray that God would open our hearts toward her. Then tonight we attend our monthly foster/adoptive parent support group meeting and the speaker is from no other than Wendy's Wonderful Kids. Just as Brian and I were ready to chalk it up to a complete coincidence she plays this video.

Before the video was over both of us had a deep confirmation as if God Himself was reaching through to the bottom of our fearful hearts to say, "Out of all the families out there I chose YOUR family specifically for MY Brittany." Please watch and share this awesome 2 minute video because unadoptable IS unacceptable!

1/29/15: Click here to see photo on FB:

Today is a very special day! Not only are we celebrating this awesome man turning 39 but the kids that surround him worked hard and saved up over $60 to treat him to lunch at China Super Buffet AND buy him his favorite cake, Raspberry Elegance, from Publix!

This is so poignant to show not only the healing in their little hearts but the leaps and bounds they have made in empathy, compassion and the love that has grown for this man they call "daddy!"

You are awesome Brian and SO worth this and so much more! Love you and happy happy birthday to my favorite!

1/31/15: Click here to see photo on FB:

Showing our support for the Dave Thomas Foundation For Adoption by buying free frosty keychains!

1/31/15: Click here to see post on FB:

With great love, comes a greater risk of pain.

Our lives have been opened up for comments, criticism, ridicule, but mainly for great encouragement! We have once again announced to the world that we are willing to walk down a road of adoption. Maybe for one who is healthy, maybe one who is sick. Maybe for one who is advanced, maybe one who is delayed. Maybe for one, maybe five.

Sweet little old ladies say the funniest things when we break this news every year to our church, "So I hear you are thinking about adopting again?"
Me: "Yes ma'am, that is true."
"You are going to be like the little old woman who lived in a shoe she had so many kids she didn't know what to do." People listening in began to giggle.
Me: "Hopefully not the shoe part, but when I don't know what to do I must solely rely on God. That is where I want to stay."

All I have to offer God and this child is my willingness. I am not the perfect wife. I am not a fantastic mother. I am not a great teacher. I can't ever get to the bottom of my to-do list. I stumble and fail much. I am not thinking of adopting again because I think I can handle it. I am not necessarily even ready. I want to adopt again because Jesus does. See adoption is bigger than just us. Through our adoption story runs a scarlet thread. A thread knotting our hearts for adoption to the One who adopted our hearts.

By opening up the door to adoption, I am offering myself as a sacrifice to the One who sacrificed all to me. Emptying myself so I can be filled with His glory. I am simply saying, "Lord I am willing, if you choose, use me." So when my husband loves me fiercely, my children call me blessed and onlookers say, "you are amazing, how do you do it?" I can say, "It is not me, but the One who lives in me!"

Posted by Shannon