Birth Moms, Adoptive Moms, Real Moms

After posting a picture with a short description on our Facebook page that gained  almost 1,000 likes, 100 comments and 200 shares, I feel compelled to share more information and expand upon my thinking. What was posted was 100% true and from my deepest heart affections. Here is the post:

"Today we attended a wedding. We sought counsel and over and over were advised not to attend. We were told it wasn't safe. People believed that it would be confusing. Brian and I prayed, as we usually do, that we would be open to God's direction even if it went against all human wisdom (there was a time we received the same negative counsel by well meaning Christians about accepting a 4th, 5th and ...6th child into our family).

After seeing the tears stream down her face and the joy she expressed at the sight of the blond 3 year old she gave birth to, God confirmed we had listened well. I am so thankful God grabbed a hold of my heart and led me courageously to attend Maggie's birthmom's wedding. I wasn't condoning her life choices but choosing to show her love and grace regardless of her behavior. God gave an overwhelming peace to my heart that no fear of man could shake. He had also orchestrated perfectly that in Maggie's "too big clothes bin" sat a beautiful flower girl dress that had been given to us when she was only an infant. It was too pretty to pass along before she could use it and when we dug it out it fit perfectly as if it was waiting there just for this moment!

Adoption is a unique journey and at times confusing. This little girl that I have raised and adore was not grown in my body. I will forever share her with another mother. While that thought could consume some with sadness it reminds me that it isn't love being shared as in separated but shared as in combined. My baby girl is loved twice! And when I adopted this little girl, I was not just given a daughter to love, but her mother to love also! We love our adopted kids best when we choose to love their parents!"

 If that post was true then what else do I feel compelled to share? There is a great tension between biblical truth and real experience. Both are 100% true yet can seem so opposite. I am going to attempt a balancing act of carefully upholding the unchanging truth of Scripture yet the always changing truth of emotional experiences. Let me explain using our FB post as an example. It is a biblical truth that God hates sin (Rom. 1:18), therefore we should strive to uproot any sin that takes us captive and avoid close relationships with unrepentant, habitually sinful people. We also know that God deeply loves sinners (Rom. 5:8), so much so that He took the payment for their sins upon Himself.

We see that the affects of sin cross generational borders. This in full display in the lives of our adopted children. A mama that drinks with a baby in utero may present us with a precious baby that struggles with FAS for the rest of their life. A mama that neglects the basic nutritional or hygiene needs of a child may lead to a us watching that child suffer a life of illnesses and deficiencies. A mama that makes choices that ultimately results in her not being able to carry out her role as mom and leads to her child being permanently removed from her care will almost always cause us to have to walk that child through attachment issues, which can include, mental or behavior issues and counseling or therapy for a length of time.

We also know that these mamas, whether they allow to sin to temporarily creep into their lives or are completely taken over by it, are still deeply loved by God. We know that God uses us to be His hands and feet and graciously gives us the strength to love people where they are. We see Jesus as our example talking to prostitutes and dining with tax collectors. (Luke 15: 1-10, Matt. 21:28-32, Mark 2:16-17, John 4, John 8:7)

Out of the deep love of our Father we stepped out in faith to show our love for a woman that has made decisions in her life that has resulted in her daughter being placed in our arms at just 6 weeks old. I made it my goal to show her nothing but kindness when I would bring this precious baby, that I was caring for and attaching to, to visitations. Then when the tables turned I reached out, confusing our case workers, for approval to write her during her prison sentence. We wrote almost a hundred letters back and forth during that 2 year sentence. I kept her updated on her baby's everchanging abilities and kept her 50 picture limit filled. Also, via letter, I had to inform her that her baby was going to become ours through adoption. A hard pill for any mom to swallow.

It was God's mercy filling my heart that compelled me to meet her at the bus station when she was released from prison and invited her to our church on Mother's day. As her old nature and ways began to creep back into her life due to her new found freedom, our contact became only through email. When we received a wedding invitation and request for Maggie to be the flower girl we were unsure what we should do. We didn't know the right answer and all the "what if"s we could think of began reeling through our minds.

There is an unhealthy fear of birth parents instilled in us from news stories, from a cousin's friend's brother's horrific experience and our own inexperience with this unique relationship. This fear is real, it is tangible, we can feel it. Fear can act itself out in many ways in our life. Fear can make us angry, paranoid, or unforgiving. While fear is a very real experience, let us move into the tension between experience and biblical truth. I am afraid, but God says, "do not fear" (Josh 1:9, Is. 41:10), "fear is not from God" (2 Tim 1:7), and "God is love" (1 John 4:8). While our emotions often want to take over we must "renew our minds daily" (Rom 12:2, Eph 4:21-24) to strive to stay in the tension. God is our protector and promises to go before us. Fear can stifle and even paralyze acts of love.

"God I am afraid (real experience), but you love this woman and promise to give me strength to love her (biblical truth)."

Click here for a blog post of a party with Titus' birth family.

So we attended a wedding. We chose love over fear. God confirmed we chose well but what should we think when real experiences begin taking over? The days after the wedding I had deep pangs of sorrow as I edited the photos and saw the same nose and smile I admire on my baby staring back at me on birth mom's face, not mine. We also had old behavior issues resurface in one child, another break down emotionally about missing their own birth mother and our littlest Maggie went through a bout of wetting. Some would ask, was it the right choice then?

True love is choosing to be vulnerable. True love is self-sacrificing, just as Jesus sacrificed all and bore much pain to show us the love we don't deserve (Is 53:4-5). Shouldn't we live out all that love is (patient, kind, content, humble, honoring, unselfish, slow to anger and forgiving 1 Cor 13:4-7) even at the risk of being hurt? Shouldn't we teach our children that love is worth it?

God promises to work all out for our good (Rom 8:28). Our oldest children got to see first hand the type of fearless love we extend to all our birth mothers even when it is difficult, though their own is not receptive or safe. Also, some deeply buried hurts were stirred and resurfaced so we can work through them together biblically. Maggie will have days that arise in her future years when she questions who she is and where she came from. The benefit of seeing love in action toward the woman that bore her during her time of questioning will far outweigh a few accidents as her tiny frame attempts to make sense of this crazy thing called being adopted. I repeat whole-heartily, we love our adopted kids best when we choose to love their parents!



Although adoption is beautifully designed by God we must remember that it is born in suffering and loss. Somebody lost family so we could gain ours. Adoption is so beautiful because it shows the power of God's Word holding true, that which was meant for evil, God used it for good (Gen 50:20)!

Posted by Shannon
Soli Deo gloria - Glory to God alone

Lesson in Submission and Mommyhood from Fort Rock

 Maybe some of you mamas love to live on the edge and a spontaneous road trip with 6 kids sounds like a dream but when my hubby asked if we could pack the RV for a 4 day getaway in less than 24 hours I know my face showed my lack of enthusiasm. I may have even cringed as my head reeled with packing checklists, on the road meal plans, and all the logistics that came with packing our RV for our family of 8.

Times like this is what tests my submission to my husband. I know some ladies just winced when they read the "s" word but God created us humans as submissive creatures. Jesus submits to the loving, merciful authority of God the Father. Man submits to the loving, merciful authority of Jesus. Woman submits to the loving, merciful authority of man. And child submits to the loving, merciful authority of their parents. There is a mutual submission, all parties are submitting to authority and ultimately to God.

  

(Picture Commentary: Mirabel, Risa and I arrived at camp Fort Rock in Arkansas)
 

When I say the word submission I am not talking about the abusive "woman, get in the kitchen" definition the world teaches us, but God’s loving, serving, self-sacrificing leadership that mutual submission willingly and happily bends to. Submission does not remove a woman’s voice but gives her a safe, protected place to share that voice. Submission chooses gentleness. Do not confuse gentleness with cowardice, timidness or fearfulness. Submission doesn’t say, "I am second class" but says, "I am a mutual heir of Christ, equal to man, but I choose to be a picture of God’s love by laying aside my own will or wants for the benefit of others.

True leadership that we are called to submit to is servant-hood. True leadership willingly takes the burden of making a decision that honors God and puts other’s best interests ahead of their own. Leadership washes feet. Leadership protects, comforts, encourages, builds up and loves so deeply that they would sacrifice all even their own life for the other.

When a man lives out true leadership and a woman chooses to willingly submit to that loving leadership we become a picture of Christ and the church. Together we point to the Maker of true love.

  

(Picture Commentary: We are having fun exploring this rustic, western looking camp)

Okay, rabbit trail, back to the RV packing and last minute road trip. Times like this test my submission to my husband. This man that loves God and wants to serve his family with their best will at heart wanted to surprise us and visit friends. He was able to get the time off, contact several friends that were available, and find local friends to care for our farm. This man wasn’t asking me to do anything sinful, illegal or wrong, just something out of my comfort zone. Although I have flat out put my foot down in the past my hubby graciously gives me more chances to leave my bubble of comfort and stretch my type A planner wings.

  

(Picture Commentary: We played in dress-up and jail and Risa got to do her favorite thing!)

This is what submission looked like in our home this time: "Do you think we can pack the RV quickly and take a 4 day getaway to visit friends?" my sweet hubby asked. I calmed the mini panic attack in my mind, "I love you so much Babe. You know I struggle with anything I don’t have time to plan for. I trust you and see how it could be fun. I will try my best to pack in so little time but can you give me a minute to digest and plan?"

  

(Picture Commentary: This horse ride was the real deal, through the woods and up a mountain!)

Well, let me be the first to tell you that trusting my hubby was SO rewarding! He had, in fact, called some friends in Springdale, AR and Guthrie, OK who gladly invited us over to visit and stay with them. He also surprised us and sent our two oldest girls and I on an amazing mother/daughter retreat at Camp Fort Rock, AR. We had so much fun horseback riding, range shooting, archery, zip-lining and being reminded of the hugely important, yet often taken for granted, job we hold as a mother. On top of all the fun we had enjoying activities and each other’s time together we also were privileged to hear some words of wisdom from a speaker, Nancy Newport, about our relationship with our children. I will try to digest and spit back out some of what was shared with us.

"There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven—
A time to give birth and a time to die;
A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted.
A time to kill and a time to heal;
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
A time to weep and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn and a time to dance.
A time to throw stones and a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace and a time to shun embracing.
A time to search and a time to give up as lost;
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
A time to tear apart and a time to sew together;
A time to be silent and a time to speak.
A time to love and a time to hate;
A time for war and a time for peace. 

What profit is there to the worker from that in which he toils? I have seen the task which God has given the sons of men with which to occupy themselves. He has made everything appropriate in its time. He has also set eternity in their heart, yet so that man will not find out the work which God has done from the beginning even to the end." Ecc. 3:1-11

  

(Picture Commentary: We got to do new things like rifle shooting and zip lining!)

In every aspect of parenting there is a season. Ever changing seasons in our lives as mama. We must remember that these little ones, given to us through birth or adoption, are not our own. They are on loan from the Lord. The Lord requires that we teach our children about their Father’s ways:

"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates." Deut. 6:5-9

     

(Picture Commentary: Isn't my skirt just awesome! It is a Jeanology brand skirt I found brand new at a local thrift store for just $5.99. It is so comfy and easy to maneuver in. I am in love!)

As the Ecc. 3 verse above continues it tells us the different seasons we may see in our lives and this is also true for us mamas. There will be a time for us to die to ourselves, just as Jesus died to self (His will) to always do the Father’s will. There will be a time for us to plant the Word and a time for us to just pray, pray, pray. There will be a time for us as mamas to kill old habits and use healing words, comfort and touch to begin a fresh start.

     

(Picture Commentary: First time ever picking up a bow and I did pretty well!)

There will be a time to train, train, train our children! Train to listen, to come, to stop, to share, to sit quietly. Teach them "no", respect, authority, chores, accountability. There will come a time that God asks them to do something that doesn’t make sense (like building a large ark and filling it with animals) and we pray they were trained early to listen and obey. Use every moment to teach them the Word. Read, read, read God's Word as you walk in the way. We must be always filling up their hearts with Jesus and teaching in the good times not just as a tool for correction.

   

(Picture Commentary: The camp was a blast and the time with my girls was priceless!)
 

Praise them…LOTS. Be a living example of the gratefulness you want to see in your children. Believe that the weeds they pick for you are more valuable that any amount of money spent on roses! Build memories. Create a family fun night, let your kids plan what you will do on this special night. Work together, if you work hard together then play hard together. Laugh LOTS, don’t let the enemy discourage you. Let your hair down. Be a fun mom.

   

(Picture Commentary: While we were gone the boys got to attend a Razorbacks football game.)
 

There will be a time as our kids grow that we allow them to struggle. They are learning to listen to the Holy Spirit and we don’t want to get in the way. Your kids will hear and see things that you want to guard them against. We live in a lost world and will be around lost people. Help them see people around them from God’s perspective. There is never a time to yell at your kids, yelling says, "I am out of control" and counteracts all we have strived for to teach our children about self-control.

  

(Picture Commentary: After a double date we said our goodbyes and left these sweet friends.)
 

We must take care to not treat our aging children as little ones. They must grow into their own convictions, as mamas we must loosen our grip so they can find who they are. We must cast away our own inconsistencies in our lives. We should pray Scripture over their growing, changing lives. Let your children see your struggles, doubt and lack of faith and let them see you choose to trust the Lord in the mess you are in. When all is done and their wings are grown we will enter a time to just PRAY, PRAY, PRAY.

  

(Picture Commentary: More fellowship on Sunday, visit this awesome family at Grace Family Farm!)

If you are anything like me, once you read this list you will think, "Although this is the desire of my heart, this is not where I am or feel I will ever be. How will I ever live up to this standard and do all that I should as a mom?" I have come to a place that I know I do not have what it takes to raise children after God’s own heart. It is here that I realize I must cry out to Jesus for His perfect power, strength and love to make it through day by day, sometimes minute by minute. He is always faithful to show up and fill me with that same grace and mercy that washed me clean and gave me a new heart over 5 years ago. My prayer is that my mistakes will not hinder my children and I may be an empty vessel used to fiercely love my children and point them to Christ!
 

Posted by Shannon
Soli Deo gloria - Glory to God alone 

When Love Does Not Come Naturally. (A follow-up to "Healing in the Hurt")

I have had so many responses, likes, shares, comments and messages regarding my last post Healing in the Hurt. That post received 1000 views within in the first 24 hours and continues to grow daily. So many women and mothers from all walks of life sharing their hurt, their struggle with anxiety, anger and bitterness. So many women and mothers truly desiring to change their ways and walk in love. I often fall into the pit of being encouraged by someone or something one day then losing that encouragement and falling again into despair as that teaching drifts farther from my mind. Let us commit together to pursue becoming more and more devoted to DAILY putting on Love.

Let us become devoted to being thankful, peace-makers (Col. 3:15).
Let us become devoted to diving into God's Word daily (Col. 3:16).
Let us become devoted to doing all to the glory of God (Col. 3:17).

Scripture tells us we have already received all we need "pertaining to life and godliness" (2 Peter 1:3). We have been given the same faith but are in different phases of God's refining process, being made more and more like gold through our sufferings (1 Peter 1:6-7). God knows our weakness and that we will and may continue to struggle with showing love. We have to be taught to love. Jesus, through Paul, tells "older" women to teach and to "encourage the young women to love their husbands and their children" (Titus 2:4).

"There is NO fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is NOT perfected in love." 1 John 4:18

I would like to begin a daily devotional with you on our 5 Kids 6 Months Facebook Page. We will begin to look in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, stopping weekly on each word description, starting first with Love is Patient. Every day each week there will be Scripture references to study and look up what God says love is. I don't liken myself to an "older" woman but I feel led, after several requests, to write and encourage you and study with you. This will require and keep me accountable to staying in the Word! So that we can practice DAILY putting on love, let us examine what love is!

"Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary." Galatians 6:9

Posted by Shannon
Soli Deo gloria - Glory to God alone 

Healing in the Hurt (Battling fear, anger and bitterness while parenting RAD)

The depression was overwhelming as I sat huddled in the corner of the shower. The hot water rolling down my face blending in with my tears. I was so tired of feeling nauseous. I was so tired of spending hours with my head resting on the toilet seat, staring at my own vomit. I was out of energy, out of love and had a weight of burden and guilt that seemed it would never be lifted. Anxiety had taken over.

 “Lord, what did I do? Is this not what you asked of me? WHY? Why is this so hard, why do I feel as if I am being punished?" No answer. I cried and cried during this bathroom ritual that had become a weekly event and lasted almost two years. Feel guilty, get nauseous, go to sleep, wake up at 2am, throw up, cry in the shower, try to sleep again at 4am. I worried this would be my story for the rest of my life. 

I knew this was what God called me to do. He called my husband and I to pursue and care for the orphan. I knew it was God’s plan. I chose willingly to become a foster parent, even jumped at the chance like an overzealous servant. I chose to have my home checked constantly by the state, to become a counselor and a help to the bio parents and to become a mom to hurting kids. But I didn’t choose the hurt that would be inflicted on me in the process. I didn’t choose the endless lies, the overwhelming theft or the cunning manipulation. I didn’t choose to have to have the sex talk with a 4 year old or to have to train a child to give affection appropriately. I didn’t choose the many police calls about vandalism, suicide threats and run aways. I didn’t choose the tremendous loss of friends, baby-sitters or family support. I didn’t choose the incessant chatter, the head-spinning questions or the rough language. I didn’t choose the verbal abuse, screaming and hitting yet the fake charm turned on around strangers. I didn’t choose the smell of urine everywhere, the daily hidden soiled underwear, or the mysterious poop smears. I didn’t choose the depression, anxiety, intense stress, guilt or anger. (Click here a blog post with a list of RAD symptoms)

Exhaustion took over my body, my mind and my spirit. I felt tired, worn down, and just plain defeated. My feelings were constantly rubbed raw from being betrayed and cursed by the ones I was trying so desperately to help heal. I needed healing. There was no break from the anger and bitterness that grew rapidly inside me. I confided in no one that I was overcome with anger and could not muster up that distant motherly feeling of love. I was stuck in this shell of an energy deficient body devoid of any love.

What was wrong with me that I couldn’t love these children that I prayed so long for and God, so generously, provided for me to care for.

“If I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.” 1 Corinthians 13:2b-3

I felt like nothing. I felt empty. How do I stir up feelings of love from nothingness? Well, we all know we cannot create anything out of nothing. I prayed to feel love. It never came. But God did begin to teach me what true love was. True love is sacrificing all (your will, your desires, your time, your life) for others, not because they deserve it but, because God says to.


(Click here to go to our facebook page and read my Christian review of Disney's movie Frozen)

Love is not a feeling but a command to act.

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.” John 13:34 

“This is His commandment, that we believe in the name of His Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, just as He commanded us.” 1 John 3:23

“ Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.” Romans 13:10

“Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8 and Proverbs 10:12 

But where does love come from. How can I turn from the angry, worn out, bitter mom I have become into the hugging, joyful, soft-spoken, smiling woman I wish I was? The answer is Jesus. Jesus has taken us in our anger, in our sin and loved us so much He sacrificed all for us. When we are washed in that love, mercy and grace we are renewed and begin to learn to imitate that love toward others.

“In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins…We love, because He first loved us.” 1 John 4:10, 19

“I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.” Galatians 2:20 

“Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love.” John 15:9 

"Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.” Ephesians 5:1-2

So we know love is commanded of us. We have the example of perfect love in Jesus. What is missing? What are the steps to muster it up inside myself? Why doesn’t love just come easy for me? Why do I feel Paul’s very words, “I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate” (Romans 7:14-15).



I had become a Christian in 2009, my whole life, heart and attitude changed. But then in 2011 and 2012 these orphans brought on challenges and trials that tested me, time and time again I was failing. Failing to keep my joy, peace and love during the fire of their behaviors and words. I had faith, I knew Christ, but my faith had not yet been tested and was weak.

“In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ;” 1 Peter 1:6-7

I had to learn to submit to the beginning of this lifelong refining process (a process God promises will make my faith more precious than gold!) and focus my energy into “putting on love” (Col. 3:14) in all circumstances and sufferings. Jesus began revealing to me through His Word that before I can put on love, I must lay aside something. 

“But now you also, put them all aside: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive speech from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, since you laid aside the old self with its evil practices, and have put on the new self who is being renewed to a true knowledge according to the image of the One who created him" Colossians 3:8-11

I began to meditate and memorize Scriptures that directed my path away from anger and bitterness. 

“Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:29-32

“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” Philippians 2:3-8

“Do all things without grumbling or disputing; so that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world, holding fast the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I will have reason to glory because I did not run in vain nor toil in vain.” Philippians 2:14-16

“Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good…Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” Romans 12:9, 17, 21, and 1 Thessalonians 5:15

Overtime I began to resolve to put off traits that God called evil. I resolved to not let them consume me and to fight DAILY (1 Cor. 15:31) to put on love. But how do I put on love? God gives us three clear steps:

1) "LET THE PEACE OF CHRIST RULE IN YOUR HEARTS, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be THANKFUL." Col. 3:15 (also see John 14:27 and 1 Thess. 5:18)

I wanted to obey the Scripture, “Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful” (John 14:27) but finding peace while a storm raged in my home and in my heart seemed hopeless. 

“I can do ALL things through Him who strengthens me. Nevertheless, you have done well to share with me in my affliction.” Philippians 4:13-14

"Consider it ALL joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." James 1:2-4

As I learned and read Scripture I found that peace and joy can be and are cultivated in suffering, trials and affliction! I began to practice (and still do) giving thanks to God in everything, even the hardest times, “in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thess. 5:18). “Lord, thank you for this child’s xyz behavior, I know this is the testing of my faith, please help me put you on display and show them grace and love in how I respond.”

 2) "LET THE WORD OF CHRIST RICHLY DWELL WITHIN YOU, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with THANKFULNESS in your hearts to God." Col. 3:16 (also see Rom. 10:17 and Eph. 5:19-20)

For the word of Christ to dwell within me I had to actively get it in there, “So faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ” (Rom. 10:17). Through the gentle, yet firm, prodding of a wonderful woman that discipled me during this time of struggle I began to set aside time every morning to read and be alone with Jesus. Sometimes I would have to wake up at 5am to find any kind of peace or quiet in our, at the time, chaotic home. With lots of coffee ready I would read, study, pray or just sit quietly listening for God’s still, small voice. Some days was 5 minutes, some days an hour. I began to cherish and seek out that time whenever I could grab it. When I finally quit my job and stayed home full-time I joined a local Precept Bible Study at my church. It is quite a study that teaches and equips women to faithfully dive deep into God's Word!

“Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.” Philippians 4:8

“Therefore, prepare your minds for action, keep sober in spirit, fix your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” 1 Peter 1:13

Chore time became morning worship choir practice. I stream a playlist of free hymns from youtube in the mornings during daily jurisdictions. The more I studied and listened to the Word of God the more thankfulness and biblical teachings flowed freely out of my mouth when they were needed most, “speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord; always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father” (Eph. 5:19-20).

3) "Whatever you do in word or deed, DO ALL IN THE NAME OF THE LORD JESUS, giving THANKS through Him to God the Father." Col. 3:17 (also see Col. 3:23 and 1 Cor. 10:31)

The last thing God did in me was to allow me to give control back over to Him. I was so worried and anxious with these escalating behaviors in my children that they would end up in jail, on drugs or pregnant. I, in fear, wanted to stomp out these behaviors in any way possible to keep them from future pain and consequences. I had taken control of the kids that were on loan from God into my own hands. Jesus owns all. Jesus determines the outcome of my children's hearts regardless of how I parent them. What God requires of me is not to change their behavior, but to glorify Him in my response to their behavior. I had to practice what I preached, “whatever you do, do all to the glory of God” (1 Cor. 10:31). 

“Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve. For he who does wrong will receive the consequences of the wrong which he has done, and that without partiality.” Colossians 3:23-25

Are you where I was? Are you struggling with anxiety, anger, guilt, bitterness, frustration? Struggling with your children, bio or adopted, normal or special needs? Struggling with your husband, your in laws, your parents, a friend?

Know first only God can change hearts so leave that department with Him, put it down, it is too burdensome for you to carry.

Second, did you notice in all three steps to putting on love there is thankfulness, “be THANKFUL,” “singing with THANKFULNESS in your hearts,” and “giving THANKS through Him to God the Father?” Start with this simple goal: to thank God throughout the day for EVERYTHING, even if you don’t see anything to be thankful for in it. “God, I want to be thankful, I don’t know what You are doing and don’t see an end to this trial, but I choose to say thank you.” (Click here for my Thanksgiving Poem)

 “Be anxious for nothing, but in EVERYTHING by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” Philippians 4:6

(Read this post: "Love Does Not Come Naturally" about daily devotionals to help you continue in your pursuit of putting on love!)


Posted by Shannon
Soli Deo gloria - Glory to God alone