Best of Facebook: June 2016

6/1/2016: Click here to see photo on FB: 

We took a big leap 3 months ago. I have always had a dream of having a traveling petting zoo business so after becoming debt free we took a leap, got an LLC, became licensed and insured and put ourselves out there. God has blessed it beyond what we could have ever imagined!!! Here are two reviews we saw on our FB page today! <3

"Amazing people! Lovely animals! Sweet kids! Can't wait to go back!"

"We hired Redemptive Love Petting Zoo for a birthday party for our one year old and they were a complete hit with ALL ages! BEST birthday party! This family-run business is nothing short of amazing with their professionalism and genuine courtesy. I cannot speak highly enough of the children helping with this operation- they were so well spoken and knowledgeable and a pleasure to be around! The animals were all very friendly and responded well to the 25+ children we had there ages 1-14. Even the teens and adults enjoyed petting them. The horses were so friendly and a perfect addition for the easiest birthday party we have ever hosted! Thank you so much Redemptive Love! We will definitely be calling again, and would refer anyone with 100% confidence!"

6/3/2016: Click here to see post on FB:

Here is an Italian documentary our family was featured in....you can kinda hear our voices (speaking in English) under the dubbed voices. It is a 30 minute documentary, we are filmed and interviewed from time: 13:25-16:54. To be honest I have no idea the way they spun the story because I don't speak Italian but I do know the title is "An American Scandal".....God can use anything.

Click here to go to website with video

EDITED to add: Laura Mercier, who is awesome, took the time to translate our small segment, here is English translation:

"Sometimes, second chance adoptions truly have a happy ending.
In this farm, on the periphery of Tallahassee, Florida, Shannon and Brian Carroll live with their 7 children adopted in the last 5 years.
For them, saving children in difficult situations, with a past of abandonment and failed adoptions, is a mission, a way to fulfill God’s will.

Shannon: “If you’re trying to build a family through adoption, or if a couple can’t have children, you think “I want to adopt a little baby from China” but you discover quickly that things aren’t that simple. These children with a past of traumatic relationships or having grown up in orphanages don’t know how to act with a mom and dad. There never had any parents, they don’t come through the door telling you “Mom, I love you!”.
If we have children fill a void in ourselves, to be called parents, adoptions don’t work. But if we do it to fill their needs of love and attention, then that’s a way for those children to find healing.”

Among the 7 Carroll children there is Samuel, 9 years old, his face scarred by a birthmark. Abandoned around 6 months by his parents, Sam spent his first 4 years in an orphanage in China. First he was adopted by a family in Michigan, who after 4 years, in 2014, decided to get rid of him. Abandoned again.

Sam: “One evening, Mom and Dad told me “Go to your room, we need to talk to you”. I thought who knows what they want, it can’t be anything serious. Then, I understood… You think, OK, I’ll be here for the rest of my life, and instead I discovered I needed to leave. I was tossed about from here to there so many times. How can I trust when they told me I was going to stay here forever? The only thing I can do is wait and see what’s going to happen.”

Shannon: “When he started living with us, Sam kept repeating: “Who knows, maybe my next family will be in Texas, or maybe in California” as if it was an exciting adventure. But one day he too will need a family, he will need to know that he is wanted. We had to explain this to him many times: Hey kid, whether you like it or not, this is the last stop! Now and in the future, it will always be us."

6/4/2016: Click here to see post on FB:

Dr. Ware's wife once told me, "No good or generous impulse is from Satan, consider it from God and act on it regardless of how you feel."

You know that prodding to pay for someone's meal even when you don't you have the money - from God

The urge to call someone even when you don't have the time - from God

The desire to love one of God's children and cure their orphan-ness by giving them a family - definitely from God (the last thing Satan wants is to see the orphan know their true Father)

6/7/2016: Click here to see photo on FB: 

Who needs seven multicolored kids to get you attention when you have a goat in your purse! ;) I have entered a new phase of crazy...

6/8/2016: Click here to see photo on FB:

This mama thing is hard some days....in the stress of it all some mamas take a bath, some go out for a jog. Some mamas sniff oils, some take medications. Some mamas drink lots of coffee, some binge eat chocolate icecream. Some mamas hide in the closet and cry, some dance in the midst of the crazy.
Me...I hug a dog...or a pony...or a bunny....or a goat....or even a chicken.

We all have our thing. Don't judge. :D
Keep on keeping on mamas!

6/14/2016: Click here to see photo on FB:

28 days had come and gone with no babies. 30 days had come and gone with no babies. 34 days had come and gone with no babies. We were about to move mama back in with the flock and discard all 12 eggs. But mama was sitting ever so faithfully, "oh, just let her keep sitting." A big thunderstorm had come through at one point causing rain water to fill her nest and we found all the eggs floating in the water. I knew in my heart at that point the eggs were no longer viable. But her faithfulness to sit on these, perceived dead, babies caused my heart to long with her, so we dried them and gave her a fresh nesting box, "okay, let her keep sitting." She refused to leave her nest. We would take food and water to her every morning and get a close enough for a whiff of a rotten egg smell. Mama duck would fluff up her feathers and hiss, this 15lb duck ready to defend her nest against a 150lb human, "If you insist on sitting, we are not taking your eggs mama duck, you just sit."

Everyday we looked at this mama duck with a hopeless sigh but Mama duck knew better than us, for this very morning a fuzzy yellow baby greeted us. We don't know if any more will hatch but we do know that even if this is the only baby that hatches it has made all the patience and faithfulness of sitting in the heat and the rain worth it to this mama duck!

What a lesson in not acting in haste yet just faithfully waiting on the Lord this morning! :D

6/16/2016: Click here to see photo on FB:

Follow-up to previous mama duck post: 10 out of the 12 eggs mama was sitting on were very rotten. She hatched out one more sweet yellow baby today and then we gave her two more eggs that were just starting to hatch in our incubator!

So she hatched two bio + two adopted = four REAL ducklings ;) lol
And mama loves them all!!! <3

6/21/2016: Click here to see photo on FB:

4 years ago this tiny dude became ours! I still remember the days leading up to his placement in our family! When the first sibling group of three came I, vainly, prayed that they would be cute, and terribly cute they were. When just 3 months later we were called for a baby girl and my very cute, big three were wearing me out I prayed that she would just sleep through the night! At 6 weeks old she she slept soundly through the night, but during the day she was a very collicky, fussy baby. So when just 6 months later we were called once more for a baby boy, I said yes through tears of exhaustion and prayed, "Lord, just let him smile."

This baby was dropped off an hour after they called us with nothing but the dirty clothes he was wearing. The first couple days this baby sat quietly, no crying, no laughing, just would sit and watch. When baby girl cried (which was often) I would meet both babies needs. This quiet little boy who now was getting all his needs met before he could ask, yet before he came he had learned to stop crying because in his past his cries had been ignored.

Something began to happen, this baby began to happily smile and laugh all the time! I would walk to the table carrying dinner, three whiny, pouty kids would complain, baby girl would be screaming because I was too slow getting the food to her and this baby boy would be smiling and clapping! He became my personal cheerleader in the drudgery of life chores! His tiny hands and huge tooth-less grin are forever etched in my mind as God's perfect blessing bestowed on me to drive me to continue on in love!

I wanted to say no to number five, I was SO overwhelmed with four, but if I had I wouldn't have had that breath of fresh air, that tiny smile sent from Heaven that said, "you're doing good mom, keep going!"

6/22/16: Click here to view link on FB:

DEBT FREEDOM!!!
I finally got around to telling our story going from $250,000 mortgage + two car loans + other small debt = $300,000 total debt to the freedom of not having to pay a mortgage, owning our cars and being debt free ($0 debt)!!!

Click here to see blog post: "A Story Only God Could Write" 

6/26/16: Click here to see post on FB:

Memory from one year ago, I can still feel the deep feeling of frailty as I remember this time being separated from my family, sitting in the hospital by my sweet girl.

6/26/15 - Today marks 2 weeks since we loaded up Clifford, our big red Excursion, with 7 kiddos and a trailer full of medical supplies. We drove home embarking on a new journey, a new path that God had set before us with another gift buckled in behind me laughing with her new siblings. We spent the first day unpacking box after box and making room for another member of the family. It was a peaceful day with visitors bringing meals and Brittney quietly adjusting, exploring her new home and playing with all her new toys.

The calm before the storm.

In the past we have had a honeymoon period with our behavioral/trauma roller coaster kids, usually a month long calm before the storm. This new medical roller coaster whipped us right up to the peak of the drop before we could even get our feet wet. In just 24 hours at 1am that 2nd night home we were awakened by vomitting and rushed to the ER. After a long night we were admitted due to Pancreatitis. Now even though her Pancreas levels are back to normal we are still going to be here in the hospital for an indefinite amount of time unitl her body gets back up to par.

For 12 days I have sat by this little girl's bedside, comforted her, held her hand and let her know I am here for her. For 12 dats I have held dozens of vomit buckets, changed a truckload of yucky diapers, went 72 hours straight without sleep, lived out of a suitcase, and cried enough tears to fill a bathtub. At times it felt like this path dropped out from under us and I was falling. My human fraility, weakness and emotions have been deep these past 12 days.

But God is still good and He is big, bigger than this hospital stay. God is still showing us His endless lovingkindness, grace and mercy. God's promises are shown more, not less, true in times of trouble and His supernatural peace can only be found in the midst of a storm. God is still on sovereignly on His throne and this temporary trial did not take Him by surprise. This is the path He paved for us. For. Our. Good! And this ship is staying course through the fiercest winds and rain.

Although our family is in different cities, Brittney and I here 4 hours away in the hospital and Brian home with the kids playing the single parent game we are growing deeper in love with each other every day. This trial has deepened our understanding of what family truly means.

"Ohana means family and family means no one gets left behind or forgotten." - Stitch :D

Powerful words little, blue, alien man...powerful words.

Posted by Shannon

Though You Feel Inadequate, Small or Weak, Do You Trust Me?

"Today I am going to teach you to swim." Daddy says as he kneels down to meet his daughter's eyes.

"Oh daddy!?! But I am afraid I will drown and die for ever and ever if I even try to swim!" His daughter exclaimed as she threw herself into his arms.

"Can you trust me? Can you trust that I will catch you and hold your head above the waves so that you shall not drown and die forever and ever?" The corners of daddy's lips were curling into a smile before he repeated the last of his daughter's dramatic fate.

Daughter spoke softly before her lips grazed his cheek, "Yes daddy. I trust you." After some time had passed and they drove on and on daughter realized she did not recognize the surroundings passing by her window, "Daddy? I thought we would be going to the pool at the community center? Aren't you going to teach me to swim today?"

"Yes, but we aren't going to the pool. We are going to where the rocky ledge meets the ocean." Daddy pronounced without hesitation.

Daughter's imagination exploded as she painstakingly tried to remember this place her father spoke of, "I don't think I have been there before, daddy." Before daddy could answer they had arrived at the aforesaid rocky ledge and daughter's imaginations and fears revealed to be true. Daddy slowly navigated down the rocks and into the angry waters. He beckoned for daughter to come to the cliff's ledge and jump.

Daughter looked down at her daddy's small, distant body below with his arms outstretched toward her but then her gaze was deterred as she caught glimpse of the jagged rocks one upon the other down, down, down where they were met with crashing, thundering waves violently thrashing about. Her daddy was in the midst of it all still calmly beckoning her to come. The daughter's eyes grew wide and her body stiff as fear gripped her every member and her lip began to quiver. "Daddy, I can't." She cried as loud as she could.

"Do you trust me?" Daddy yelled over the ferocious beating of the waves. Daughter trusted her daddy with every ounce of her being. She loved him dearly and would follow him to the ends of the earth. So why this hesitation now? Why the lack of faith in her faithful daddy?Why the lack of trust in her never-promise-breaking father? Daughter quickly swallowed her emotions, informed her fears, closed her eyes and let her body leap off the rocks solid ledge and felt the wind and cool water splashing against her face as she fell down, down, down to the hurling waves below.

Her father beamed proudly as he held his daughter's feather-light body above the water and coached her on breathing, kicking, staying afloat and all things swimming.

Suddenly a gigantic wave ambushed them hiding them both under it's flood of water. Daughter gasped for air struggling for all her might. She finally felt her daddy's hands around her waist, "Daddy!!! I can't! This is too much for me and I thought you were gone."

"Do you trust me? Daughter, even if you don't see me for a time, I am here. I will not leave you."

The light glazed over the clouds in a palate of red, yellow and orange. Before their long drive home daddy and daughter enjoyed the quiet, sparkling sunset. "Daddy, why didn't we just go to the pool where it is safe and fun and where I wouldn't be afraid?"

"Oh Daughter, this was all just a picture to point you to God. One day God, your heavenly Father, may call you to scary and turbulent waters and I want you to obey and trust Him with the same faith that you trust me, your earthly father. I want you to know that when you feel overwhelmed and struggling and when the waves seem to take you under and you can't see Him, He will still be there upholding you with His strong arm. When people see one who is weak and small swimming in these impossible waters they will see and glorify your powerful Father in heaven who is your help! Do not be afraid, dear daughter, for your God will never leave you or forsake you. Swim strong for Him in this life in the same way you swam for me today."

This analogy or parable came to me as I sat in the bathroom late at night this past week, crying out to God to show me what I am to do. I was letting Him know how scared, weak and little I felt. How inadequate and ill-equipped I felt about doing what I felt He was asking me to do. He answered me quickly. I had to jump up and grab a pen and paper as a story poured out and filled a blank page. God was asking me to jump.

Just jump. Think later. Ask later.

But now, just swallow my fear, extend trust, obey His still, small voice and jump. Jump I did.

"Okay God, I trust you to catch me."

An amazing peace came over me and this past weekend. Grace was utterly poured out over me and pumped through my veins! Tough days will come for sure but, for now, for this day, My grace is sufficient for you.

God confirmed so many of the teachings in my heart through our pastor's sermon this past Sunday.

Watch if you want to be encouraged and challenged.

Here is a snippet:
"Serving God is about to become joyful for one woman and painful for another..."I am a bondslave of the Lord," she says, "I am owned by Him, I have no life outside of Him." That's what it means to be a bondslave. Mary is acknowledging that that is her position before God and if this is what God has for me than that is what I will do. His will be done in my... life. She does not question, she does not say, "I'll do it as long as it does not mess up my wedding plans." She doesn't say any of those things.

You have to ask yourself, "Would I still serve God if He did that to my life all of a sudden? If there was some unexpected event that came into my life, would I still be a bondslave of God? Would I still be willing to say, Thy will be done? Or would I hold on to my agenda and say, "No God, I have to think about this one, God. As long as it fits in with my plans, yes, but if it doesn't I am most likely not willing to go along." I fear too many of us would have that perspective. As long as it is what I want. As long as all the circumstances are right. And all the questions are answered then I'll do what you want.

A bondslave does not think like that." -Pastor Rod Bunton

Luke 9:23 "And He was saying to them all, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me."

And the sermon keeps going and gets better! Set aside an hour and watch it :)

Then just following that amazing sermon our church held a beautiful adoption shower to honor Brittney, who is soon to join our family!

Last Sunday our church, Grace Church, lavished their love and grace on our family through throwing a beautiful shower honoring our upcoming adoption of Brittney! She is already so loved by our church family that we cannot wait for her to join our family! I hope to share more pictures of the adoption shower later in a full blog post. Here is a little snippet of what I shared at the shower while telling more about Brittney and speaking about how God is working in our life through this adoption:

"God has taught us a lot since that initial call in January where I shook with shock, "Lord, You wouldn't call us to parent a special needs child, would you?" I pleaded my case, "Lord, I don't fee worthy of the ones You already placed in our care, how can I rise up to care for one even more needy?" My lips kept our commitment as I uttered, "Yes, we will take her." but my heart raced, my thoughts presented excuse after excuse and my eyes opened the floodgates of worry. I am normal, made of flesh, weak and seeking the path of least resistance. But God had great grace and favor on me and, ever so gently, is teaching me, again, what His great and boundless love looks like.

Love sees past our abilities or disabilities, but sees in us intrinsic value because we are made in the image of our Creator. Love sees past our blemished history, but sees our future hope as adopted heirs to a Father of an extraordinary inheritance. Love see not the challenges too difficult to overcome, but sees a great Savior that has overcome all difficulties and that has lovingly bestowed His perfect strength and grace upon us.

God has turned that initial great fear into greater expectation. I stand here excited to tell you that this little girl is my future daughter. Despite her history of neglect God is writing her story of hope. Despite her languishing as an orphan in fostercare, God has not left her but has brought her a family. And despite her label as "unadoptable" she is wanted and dearly loved. Although, I would never wish another child to ever live through a story like Brittney's I do wish every child in her same plight had someone to rise up and say, "They are wanted and loved by God so we will love them and adopt them as our own!"


Posted by ShannonSoli Deo gloria - Glory to God alone 

Pregnant Mama, Know That I Sorrowfully Rejoice With You!

 

"Lord, please give me the strength to rejoice and not cry," I whispered a silent prayer as I walked into a room filled with giddy smiles and pink balloons. Sweet little polka-dotted onesies were draped across the wall under large painted letters that spelt out this new blessing's name. The pain swelled deep within me like I had been punched in the gut. "Lord, please." I faked a smile, wishing desperately that my joy could be real. That I could truly be a Rom. 12:15 woman. A woman that thinks more of others happiness than her own sorrow. I held it together, ate hors d'oeuvres, complimented tiny pink gifts, skirted around the inevitable birthing conversations that I had never experienced and made it out without giving anyone a hint of the dark cloud that hung over me. When I finally made it back to my car that dark cloud burst into a pool of tears and loud sobs.

Infertility.

That word just drips sorrow. It is negative. Broken. Empty. Hopeless.

5 Years.

This month we say hello to our 5 year anniversary walking hand in hand with this awful word. We like the word "barren" better, but either way it means for 5 years God has shut my womb and we, as a couple, have not been able to conceive. We don't know whether our barreness is permanent or temporary, for only God knows.

I am not writing this so you can message me and tell me the story of your second, half-removed cousin's friend that got pregnant after 15 years of infertility. I am writing this for two reasons, one to scream from the rooftops that all you mamas currently walking through infertility, "I HEAR YOU! YOUR PAIN IS REAL! IT HURTS!" and second to help those of you not walking through it to maybe understand it just a little.

One thing I have learned while walking this dark and lonely road is that God does not promise us children (Anna is a barren woman in the bible that was never given the gift of pregnancy, click here). The same way He doesn't promise we will find a spouse (1 Cor. 7:8). Are these both good blessings? Absolutely. Are they promised in Scripture. No. Often in churches and communities well-meaning people ask these two questions with excitement. To the single, "so when are you going to get married?" and to the childless couple, "so when are you going to start having children?" Like I know when prince charming is going to come a knocking or when our egg and seed will finally combust into a tiny life. These questions are asked as if our completeness without these things is in question.

Our completeness is not found in our marriage or in our womb. Our completeness is found in Christ.

"For in Him all the fullness of Deity dwells in bodily form, and in Him you have been MADE COMPLETE, and He is the head over all rule and authority;" Colossians 2:9-10

We are complete in Christ. We don't need a husband to complete us, we are married to Christ. We don't need children to complete us, we are heirs with Christ, He will carry on His family name, we don't need to. Often not given the ideal gift of marriage or children we set up this little idol in our heart and we begin to worship this ideal rather that the One who designed it. It is difficult not to. Marriage and children are both good gifts. Blessings. They are good desires, but in our sinfulness we elevate them, are angry over not having them, envy others that do have them and sometimes will even sin to get them.  

In January 2010 Brian and I committed our family planning to God. We committed we would do NOTHING to prevent or promote pregnancy. We were acknowledging that God was in charge of our womb and we were going to trust Him. For five years since 2010 we have been open to any child God would give us.

God was faithful in our commitment and although He has not lifted our barreness He has given us the gift of fertility. We may be infertile in our bodies but God has given our hearts tremendous fertility through adoption!

"He gives the barren woman a home, making her the joyous mother of children. Praise the Lord!" Psalm 113:9

When we yielded our womb to God we yielded all our rights to say that whatever He chose to do, we would trust and worship Him. He is in control to the opening and closing of our womb. We figured since we were graciously surrendering our will that He would perform His will which happened to look very similar to our will in the first place. The thing with God is that He is God and we are not. Sometimes His will is to not give us our heart desires and (you know what?) He is still good.

But my grief and pain are REAL.

But grief, pain and sorrow, these emotions, they don't know theology. They are real, raw, founded, yet separate from the real knowledge of the goodness of God. We must inform our emotions, teach them, train them. The longer I walk through this path of hurt, the more time I have had to inform my emotions that while a good cry is founded and allowed, bitterness, anger and malice towards others experiencing what I am not is NOT allowed. Grief, pain and sorrow are a soil that the weeds of bitterness and anger love to grow in! We must be on guard. When my mourning is stirred I must reject all thoughts of bitterness.

My hurt over my womb not opening doesn't leave me, I am stuck on this path until I am released to another. I will carry my grief just as those who have lost a loved one. I lost something on this path. I had to grieve the loss of my ideals and imagination of the little baby (or babies) that I expected to bear with my own body. I have laid to rest the image of two lines on a stick, the image of my belly growing big with life, the image of our newborn baby gasp for their first breath of air. Infertility is a loss no one can see but can consume many women just as loss of a living, breathing loved one can.

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” Matthew 5:4

Think if someone lost their husband they may weep at a wedding, remembering the love they had and lost. They don't envy or hate your marriage they just are missing theirs. They sorrowfully rejoice with you. If someone lost their child just before that child's 7th birthday party, they may be greatly impacted with grief when attending your child's 7th birthday party. They don't wish your child the same outcome but the memories of a celebration never able to be celebrated will bring great mourning. They sorrowfully rejoice with you.

So please know, pregnant mama, that I am rejoicing with you!

(Picture Commentary: This picture is of a mural I painted for an amazing friend's nursery. We walked our first 1.5 years of infertility together, then she conceived a baby girl! I was so excited for her I spent 50+ hours in her house painting!)


I love feeling the life growing and kicking in your belly. I love witnessing the glow you carry with you. I love hearing you expectantly speak of that sweet baby inside you. I love celebrating this new life with you and being invited to your baby shower celebration. I love you. So I rejoice with you.

But please don't think any of my love changes if I cry (as I am crying now as I write this). Please don't be mad if I excuse myself from the room when the birthing stories that I have never experienced go on and on. Please don't be mad if I cry and am deeply pained when your belly is big and bursting full of the life mine has not ever seen. Please don't be mad if I weep at your baby shower, a celebration I have never been celebrated. Please know that I do rejoice with you, I sorrowfully rejoice!

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

I could shut myself up, refuse to touch another growing belly, refuse to attend any future baby showers and some how hope to keep myself from any pain or emotions that may be stirred up by these things. But know that you, pregnant mama, are more important to me than my pain. Showing you love, in the way God shows me love, means more to me than my grief. Rejoicing with you is chosen over my weeping, dear friend. I sorrowfully rejoice with you, at the great blessing you are receiving that I have lost.

"As an example, brethren, of suffering and patience, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. We count those blessed who endured. You have heard of the endurance of Job and have seen the outcome of the Lord’s dealings, that the Lord is full of compassion and is merciful." James 5:10-11

God is still in control of my empty womb, no loss or grief can take away that comfort! God is good in all things.


Posted by Shannon
Soli Deo gloria - Glory to God alone

We "Messed Up" Birth Order But Not God's Sovereignty

When researching birth order and adoption I have found it to be a huge "No-No". Some adoption agencies and social workers will not approve you if you even consider disrupting your family's birth order. What is it about birth order that makes it "the unbreakable"?

We must be very careful when putting manmade philosophies about birth order above God's Word and Sovereignty. Is God not sovereign in adoption "birth order" and only in biological birth order? Is God surprised when we adopt an older child and "mess up" the birth order He established? Can God, being all-knowing, build our family's birth order with our future adoption(s) in mind?

We may have adopted out of age order but we adopted in the perfect "birth order" that God birthed our adopted family!

Israel was God's firstborn.

In the Old Testament God refers to Israel as His first born, "Then you shall say to Pharaoh, ‘Thus says the Lord, Israel is my firstborn son," (Exodus 4:22). Israel, as a firstborn, was to receive a double inheritance as outlined in the Jewish Law (Deut. 21:15-17). So God does put a higher stock in the oldest child, therefore we should NEVER ever adopt out of birth order, right? Wait....fast forward a few thousand years and Israel, God's firstborn, was one-upped by another Son. This Son came and became God's true firstborn. Did God really just "mess up" His own family "birth order"? Ruin family-ranking? Re-distribute inheritance? Yep.

Jesus bumped Israel out of their firstborn status.

How did newly displaced Jewish Israel respond when Jesus came on the scene and stole their firstborn birthright? (Romans 8:29, Colossians 1:18). Some hated Him and plotted to kill Him and some believed in Him and became His disciples. The same way our displaced children will act, if a new child takes their firstborn position, their words and actions will allow their heart to become visible. Anger, bitterness, and malice will show a child that is struggling with putting their status in the family unit higher than their status with God. On the other hand, Love, compassion, and service will overflow from the heart of a child filled with a trust in God's ultimate sovereignty over the growth of their family. 

Could disrupting birth order make our parenting harder by uncovering heart issues and behaviors we would rather not deal with? Most likely. So are you opposed to adopting out of birth order due to comfort, convenience, superstition or God's Word?

Even disciples bickered about their "birth order".

Who would be greatest among them? Jesus sat his disciples down and explained that they were missing the bigger picture. They weren't to focus on their place in His family or kingdom but their focus was to be serving His children,

"“If anyone wants to be first, he shall be last of all and servant of all.” Taking a child, He set him before them, and taking him in His arms, He said to them, “Whoever receives one child like this in My name receives Me; and whoever receives Me does not receive Me, but Him who sent Me.” (Mark 9:33-37, also Matt 18:1-5, Luke 9:46-48)"

Let us not be consumed with worldly notions, putting ourselves in bonds of obeying birth order, neglecting our call to serve the least of these, so that we relate to the goats on Jesus' left (Matthew 25:31-46). Let us do as the sheep on Jesus' right and serve the least of these by meeting their need, regardless of their age. Let us have the pure religion that God accepts, religion undefiled by worldly philosophies and studies, let us just care for the orphan (James 1:27).

But birth order defines our personalities.

Birth order studies on personality differences are fun and are sometimes accurate stereotypes but let us not strip our children of God's unique fingerprint of individuality He created in each one of them in exchange for a natural view of "the almighty Birth Order made them this way." Even if birth order helps to define and shape our personalities, it certainly does not effect or define our relationship with God. If big brother Johnny gains a new big brother through adoption he will still be big brother Johnny, as God designed him. Now he will also have a new role as little brother Johnny, just as God planned before the foundations of the world. We are give a new status when we are adopted into the family of God. Given a status not as oldest, middle child or baby, but as equal heirs and firstborn with Christ.

"In love He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will (Ephesians 1:3-6)" 

"In the exercise of His will He brought us forth by the word of truth, so that we would be a kind of first fruits among His creatures (James 1:18)." 

"The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ (Romans 8:14-17)"

"Therefore you are no longer a slave, but a son; and if a son, then an heir through God (Galatians 4:7)." 

"In Him also we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to His purpose who works all things after the counsel of His will, to the end that we who were the first to hope in Christ would be to the praise of His glory (Ephesians 1:10-12)" 

Little brother and big brother Johnny are both offered the same adoption, the same inheritance, the same free gift of salvation through Jesus Christ (Ephesians 2:8 and Romans 6:23).

God does not define us by our earthly labels but our heavenly one.

We need only to be labeled "adopted" or "child of God". Earthly labels of birth order, gender, race, heritage, or age are not counted by God for a heavenly inheritance. Why do we put any stock in earthly labels for our family inheritance?

"There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus (Galatians 3:28)."

Once adopted we have a place with God as His son, as His people, even though we were once separated from Him. He doesn't hold one believer higher than the other, even if say the Jew "knew" God first (Romans 9:24-26). Followers of Jesus are not adopted in age order. God encourages us not to put stock in the age of His believers (1Timothy 4:12) or their strength (1 Corinthians 1:27).

Let us not put a greater pull on worldly philosophies of birth order than we do on the Spirit and will of the God of Adoption!

 Six other blog posts and articles about birth order:

1. Here is a worldly, evolutionary philosophy that shares why birth order matters:

"'We’re in a Darwinian struggle from the moment we’re born, fighting for scarce resources within a family – our parents’ time, love and affection,’ he says. 'Through human evolution, birth order has determined who inherits power (the first-born) and who is sent to war (the youngest as he was the ‘spare’). By Psychologies"

2. Birth order may not be the only link in determining our future personality:

"In short, it's not necessarily the fact that a child came out of his mother's womb first that he grew up to be a leader who talks a blue streak. Rather, it's the fact that his parents treated him as their firstborn child that shaped his attitude and behavior. By Parents" 

3. Birth order - Science or Myth?

"After reviewing 35 years of research -- some 1500 studies -- Cécile Ernst and Jules Angst of the University of Zurich reach a simple conclusion:
"On a scale of importance, the effects of birth order fall somewhere between negligible and nonexistent " (Science, December 1983, p. 16). By Biblical Discernment Ministries"

4. Lots of adopting out of birth order resources and links here:

"To find voices against adopting out of birth order, simply type that phrase in a search engine and many adoption forum discussions will pop up. It is a popular topic on many adoption forums, but I caution you to note how many are written by those who have experienced it. It is not for everyone or for every family. The needs and resources of all family members must be considered, but there are many families that have done it and done it well. By Creating a Family"

5. This is a personal blog post from a mom who has adopted out of birth order:  

"I know we made the right decision to adopt an older child, to disrupt birth order, and I’m seeing beauty rise up out of the ashes.  All three of my kids are being refined. Yucky stuff is sloughing off. Even during this painful spiritual exfoliation, I see moments to treasure. By Unexpected.org"

6. Where in the Bible does in address the issue of birth order?:

"To be truthful, the Bible does address birth order, especially as it relates to being the "firstborn". God certainly did not give us an exhaustive treatise on birth order and its affects (should be a warning right there of putting too much stock in birth order), but He did allow us to see the premium He put on inheritance and the firstborn. Click here for the rest of a fantastic article on firstborns"

Posted by Shannon
Soli Deo gloria - Glory to God alone