Best of Facebook: April 2015

4/7/15: Click here to see post on FB: 

We have Brittany for our first unsupervised visit! Yay!


4/13/15: Click here to see photos on FB:

Our week of packing begins today! We will be packing our entire RV for 8 people and cooking and freezing a weeks worth of meals so it can be a true vacation for mom too ;) By Saturday we hope to be on our way to Big Sandy, TX for our yearly family camp and conference! The kids are beyond giddy with excitement and super motivated to be helpful so we can leave as soon as possible!

Busy has been the theme of our life lately. I'll use just last week as an example. Sunday we cooked a big Easter lunch and had an amazing Easter Sunday with several friends, which longer than the planned lunch and included a nerf gun war, Super Smash Bros tournament, dinner, long conversation and a movie. Monday we packed quickly, dropped off our puppies and kids at two faraway friend's houses and drove to Orlando to see Brittany, Tuesday it was just Brian and I but a full day of doctor appt, medical trainings and visiting with our daughter-to-be, Wednesday I prepped a powerpoint during the car ride home and rolled into town just in time to pick up kids and puppies and host our 4-H group for a class about fostering orphaned animals and bottle feeding puppies. Thursday after our weekly bible study we caught up on some farm chores and I took my biggest girl to the "life-saver dinner" where she was honored by raising over $2500 for our local Women's Pregnancy Center. Friday we finished some fencing, built some garden trellises, and built two whelping pens for our two very pregnant piggies to give birth in peace. Saturday finished it off by having old friends over so we could teach them how to butcher their own chickens (at their request) and we attended FSU's Kids Brain Fair where we had a great time learning all about how God designed our amazing brains to work! Add to this week meals, daily chores, school, farming, gardening and bottle feeding puppies every 4 hours!

I like the term "full" instead of "busy." We haven't intentionally filled up our schedule but we often find ourselves in a spot where important, memorable events pile themselves up all in the same week or even day! We try to prioritize our lives with people first. If someone calls and says, "Hey, we would love to come by today and visit" or "Can you guys come to help us build a fence this week?" or "Are you available to watch my kids for a couple hours?" then we will always postpone our farm projects, cleaning or even homeschooling to make time for the most important things in life, people!

There are no interruptions to our plans, just God ordained plans that we are made aware of, so we put our own plans on hold for His. Now if I can remember to not hold my plans for this week so tightly-fisted and view every interruption as an invitation to participate in God's perfect plan and put my own on hold!

4/16/15: Click here to see photo on FB:

The kiddos had their last day of our weekly homeschool co-op on Tuesday. The end of the year presentation was very cute showing off much of what they learned throughout the year in Latin, Literature, Bible, History, Science, and Music/Art.

With our homeschool co-op, 4-H, Awana and bible study all taking breaks for the summer we are looking forward to a slower season (Lord willing!).

The past two days have been filled with tremendous amounts of list making, directing, cooking, packing, and cleaning. We take off tomorrow night for Big Sandy, TX for our annual family camp and conference. All our meals are cooked and frozen and most all of our stuff is packed away in the RV. Just some last minute preparations and shopping trip left. If I can get through tomorrow without coming unglued that would be a miracle!

4/17/15: Click here to see photo on FB:

We are finally on the road headed to Big Sandy, TX for a week of camping and fellowship! Our goal was to be on the road by 6pm tonight, well we took this picture as we loaded up at 5pm, an hour ahead of schedule. That is pretty good. Especially since we were out for 6 hours this morning finishing up last minute errands, at a total of 12 different stops, then 3 more hours of last minute prep and packing and we were still out ahead of schedule. And best part!?! I didn't come unglued once today, no yelling, no anxiety, no freak-out mode. Preparing for large trips with a large family typically sends me over the edge pretty easily, God is definitely at work, thank you for your prayers! :)

That isn't the end of the story. We took this cute pic, pulled out of our driveway and were happily cruising along. Brian turned to me and said, "Hon, we forgot to pray just before we left for our traveling." I wish we would have pulled over that moment, "We are about to stop at this gas station to fill up on gas and fill our propane tank, we will pray then." The excited chatter from the kids was bubbling over and the little ones ansy-ness from sitting in a car all day was beginning to become a distraction. Just 30 miles down the interstate we stopped for gas, then filled our propane tank then made sure our grey water tanks were emptied. That is when we noticed we had some major problems. Problem 1, our fridge wasn't turning back on. We had 4-6 hours before we would lose a week's worth of meals and preparation. Problem 2, both our batteries died and our RV wouldn't start. We called our roadside service, It would be $190 to send someone out to diagnose the problem.

"Babe, what did we not do?" We all unloaded and surrounded the front of the RV, laying our hands on the battery, "God we are so sorry we didn't come to You first. Please forgive us. Lord, we are taking this trip to deepen our love and faith in You, please help us."
We opened our eyes and saw a young college student at the next gas pump, "You need a jump?" Oh, yes!!! The moment those jumper cables were on our RV started right up and the fridge turned on. After a two hour delay we are back in business and this time we will keep prayer closer to our hearts. :)

4/29/15: Click here to see article on FB:

We were recently tagged in a friend's post on supporting adoptive parents and we wanted to continue the conversation here.

"I was speaking to an adoptive family recently and they said, "EVERYONE is called to support adoption. You may not personally be able to adopt right now, but you are still called to support adoption. And you do that by supporting the families that have (or are working to) adopted now." Yes, YOU!

Christian or not, you are responsible to support those in our community who have gathered the courage to bring new children into their home. But how? Well, this article is a starting point.

And maybe some of my adoptive/foster family friends could chime in on how we can best support you."-Jen Brown

This article has some great and practical ideas. Our church was kind enough to think of throwing a shower for Brittany this time around. While our other children have never had a shower thrown on their behalf our church and community always brought us meals and material needs within those first weeks home.

Click here to see article: How to Support Adoptive Families

Posted by Shannon

Birth Moms, Adoptive Moms, Real Moms

After posting a picture with a short description on our Facebook page that gained  almost 1,000 likes, 100 comments and 200 shares, I feel compelled to share more information and expand upon my thinking. What was posted was 100% true and from my deepest heart affections. Here is the post:

"Today we attended a wedding. We sought counsel and over and over were advised not to attend. We were told it wasn't safe. People believed that it would be confusing. Brian and I prayed, as we usually do, that we would be open to God's direction even if it went against all human wisdom (there was a time we received the same negative counsel by well meaning Christians about accepting a 4th, 5th and ...6th child into our family).

After seeing the tears stream down her face and the joy she expressed at the sight of the blond 3 year old she gave birth to, God confirmed we had listened well. I am so thankful God grabbed a hold of my heart and led me courageously to attend Maggie's birthmom's wedding. I wasn't condoning her life choices but choosing to show her love and grace regardless of her behavior. God gave an overwhelming peace to my heart that no fear of man could shake. He had also orchestrated perfectly that in Maggie's "too big clothes bin" sat a beautiful flower girl dress that had been given to us when she was only an infant. It was too pretty to pass along before she could use it and when we dug it out it fit perfectly as if it was waiting there just for this moment!

Adoption is a unique journey and at times confusing. This little girl that I have raised and adore was not grown in my body. I will forever share her with another mother. While that thought could consume some with sadness it reminds me that it isn't love being shared as in separated but shared as in combined. My baby girl is loved twice! And when I adopted this little girl, I was not just given a daughter to love, but her mother to love also! We love our adopted kids best when we choose to love their parents!"

 If that post was true then what else do I feel compelled to share? There is a great tension between biblical truth and real experience. Both are 100% true yet can seem so opposite. I am going to attempt a balancing act of carefully upholding the unchanging truth of Scripture yet the always changing truth of emotional experiences. Let me explain using our FB post as an example. It is a biblical truth that God hates sin (Rom. 1:18), therefore we should strive to uproot any sin that takes us captive and avoid close relationships with unrepentant, habitually sinful people. We also know that God deeply loves sinners (Rom. 5:8), so much so that He took the payment for their sins upon Himself.

We see that the affects of sin cross generational borders. This in full display in the lives of our adopted children. A mama that drinks with a baby in utero may present us with a precious baby that struggles with FAS for the rest of their life. A mama that neglects the basic nutritional or hygiene needs of a child may lead to a us watching that child suffer a life of illnesses and deficiencies. A mama that makes choices that ultimately results in her not being able to carry out her role as mom and leads to her child being permanently removed from her care will almost always cause us to have to walk that child through attachment issues, which can include, mental or behavior issues and counseling or therapy for a length of time.

We also know that these mamas, whether they allow to sin to temporarily creep into their lives or are completely taken over by it, are still deeply loved by God. We know that God uses us to be His hands and feet and graciously gives us the strength to love people where they are. We see Jesus as our example talking to prostitutes and dining with tax collectors. (Luke 15: 1-10, Matt. 21:28-32, Mark 2:16-17, John 4, John 8:7)

Out of the deep love of our Father we stepped out in faith to show our love for a woman that has made decisions in her life that has resulted in her daughter being placed in our arms at just 6 weeks old. I made it my goal to show her nothing but kindness when I would bring this precious baby, that I was caring for and attaching to, to visitations. Then when the tables turned I reached out, confusing our case workers, for approval to write her during her prison sentence. We wrote almost a hundred letters back and forth during that 2 year sentence. I kept her updated on her baby's everchanging abilities and kept her 50 picture limit filled. Also, via letter, I had to inform her that her baby was going to become ours through adoption. A hard pill for any mom to swallow.

It was God's mercy filling my heart that compelled me to meet her at the bus station when she was released from prison and invited her to our church on Mother's day. As her old nature and ways began to creep back into her life due to her new found freedom, our contact became only through email. When we received a wedding invitation and request for Maggie to be the flower girl we were unsure what we should do. We didn't know the right answer and all the "what if"s we could think of began reeling through our minds.

There is an unhealthy fear of birth parents instilled in us from news stories, from a cousin's friend's brother's horrific experience and our own inexperience with this unique relationship. This fear is real, it is tangible, we can feel it. Fear can act itself out in many ways in our life. Fear can make us angry, paranoid, or unforgiving. While fear is a very real experience, let us move into the tension between experience and biblical truth. I am afraid, but God says, "do not fear" (Josh 1:9, Is. 41:10), "fear is not from God" (2 Tim 1:7), and "God is love" (1 John 4:8). While our emotions often want to take over we must "renew our minds daily" (Rom 12:2, Eph 4:21-24) to strive to stay in the tension. God is our protector and promises to go before us. Fear can stifle and even paralyze acts of love.

"God I am afraid (real experience), but you love this woman and promise to give me strength to love her (biblical truth)."

Click here for a blog post of a party with Titus' birth family.

So we attended a wedding. We chose love over fear. God confirmed we chose well but what should we think when real experiences begin taking over? The days after the wedding I had deep pangs of sorrow as I edited the photos and saw the same nose and smile I admire on my baby staring back at me on birth mom's face, not mine. We also had old behavior issues resurface in one child, another break down emotionally about missing their own birth mother and our littlest Maggie went through a bout of wetting. Some would ask, was it the right choice then?

True love is choosing to be vulnerable. True love is self-sacrificing, just as Jesus sacrificed all and bore much pain to show us the love we don't deserve (Is 53:4-5). Shouldn't we live out all that love is (patient, kind, content, humble, honoring, unselfish, slow to anger and forgiving 1 Cor 13:4-7) even at the risk of being hurt? Shouldn't we teach our children that love is worth it?

God promises to work all out for our good (Rom 8:28). Our oldest children got to see first hand the type of fearless love we extend to all our birth mothers even when it is difficult, though their own is not receptive or safe. Also, some deeply buried hurts were stirred and resurfaced so we can work through them together biblically. Maggie will have days that arise in her future years when she questions who she is and where she came from. The benefit of seeing love in action toward the woman that bore her during her time of questioning will far outweigh a few accidents as her tiny frame attempts to make sense of this crazy thing called being adopted. I repeat whole-heartily, we love our adopted kids best when we choose to love their parents!



Although adoption is beautifully designed by God we must remember that it is born in suffering and loss. Somebody lost family so we could gain ours. Adoption is so beautiful because it shows the power of God's Word holding true, that which was meant for evil, God used it for good (Gen 50:20)!

Posted by Shannon
Soli Deo gloria - Glory to God alone