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Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Best of Facebook: May 2016

5/1/2016: Click here to see video on FB:

We had an amazing surprise today! Make-A-Wish threw a huge surprise party to announce that they are sending Brittney and our whole family to Disney (and SeaWorld, NASA Space Center and Clearwater Marine Aquarium) for 7 days!!! We leave this week!!! :D
5/2/2016: Click here to see article on FB:

Newspaper article with a few pictures of our fun surprise. We are getting ready and packing!



Watch clips of Brittney's Make-A-Wish surprise party on this Fox News story.

It is always interesting (by interesting I mean embarrassing) watching ourselves speak and finding out what bits and pieces they show and what was edited out. One thing is for sure, Disney or no Disney we LOVE our Britt-girl to the moon and back!!!



Supposed to be packing but what is more important than feeling awesome in the place of dreams!?!
Dresses (from LittleDressUpShop.com) came in today and the girls couldn't wait to get them on! Doesn't Britt look like the prettiest Princess Tiana you have ever seen!?!
The boys were excited to dress up too so we threw some costumes together, can you guess who/what they are?
Disney here we come!!!



The kids first time on Splash mountain. Every row of this photo, from the scared protector, the duck and cover, the faces of terror and the carefree kiss as we take yet another plunge together, makes this my absolute favorite photo from yesterday!!! <3 my family <3 Happy Mother's Day :D



Mickey Mouse is Britt's favorite and yesterday this princess got to meet him!



Memory from 4 years ago yet a good reminder even for me!

With mother's day past us and all the cute pictures of perfect mommies with their smiling children beginning to become lower on our news feeds I wanted to share one of my favorite real mommy-hood photos.

I have been a mom for 4 years or 47 months or 204 weeks or 1,430 days or 34,320 hours or 2,059,200 seconds. When you do the math, that is a long race, one that once begins it never ends. Some mamas are well-trained, prepped and ready for this race, others are thrown in barefoot and out of shape. But we all take part in this race, some run steadfast and steady, some sprint then fall but get back up to sprint again, some transfer their baton over to a more desirable athlete to take their place and some just plain give up.

Us adoptive mamas, we have a big running career as we often have to run not only in our own places but in the places of other mamas that have handed their baton to us or given up in this race. Every child should have someone running on their behalf and even though we may not be athletes we can't bear to see a little one on the sidelines with no one running for them, so we, though we are tired, out of breath and calloused we say, "I will run for you too."

Take heart, be encouraged mamas, keep running!

"Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, FIXING OUR EYES ON JESUS, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:1-2



The coolest thing that Give Kids The World and Disney partnered to do was give each Make-A-Wish family free photos at all 4 theme parks, not to mention a pass to get to the front of all the photo lines!

We got over 300 professional photos at Disney plus hundreds more on my own camera. Here are a few of our favorites from Disney!



In 29 years I have had what feels like a lifetime of adventure. Spent 14 years being shaped as a child and 15 years as a working woman. I have spent 11 of the most amazing years married to my best friend and 5 of the most challenging (yet most rewarding) learning and growing as a new mom. We have spent over 8 hard-working years paying off over $300,000 in debt to be able to live in the debt freedom we currently reside. Then 2 long years ago we left our cozy city life to embark on a crazy journey to become farmers and quickly grew to love the country space and the menagerie of animals it brought with it! I am happy to say I am blessed with a great and powerful God, an amazing and serving husband, 7 sweet, fun, and outgoing kids, a paid off and very full house, 7 beautiful, green acres and over 100 furry and feathered friends to love. I am very blessed!!! <3


"When I grew up in the orphanage it was Christians who came an built nicer buildings. Christians who bought us beds, clothing and provided money monthly for food. It was a Christian, who wrote a letter in a shoebox, who first told me I was loved. It was the Christians who met all my physical and material needs in that orphanage."
"But it was also Christians who neglected my biggest need. Children in orphanages don't need more money, nicer buildings or better clothes. I am not an orphan because I lost my home or provisions. I am an orphan because I lost my parents. I needed a mom and a dad. I needed a family. Christians treated all my temporary symptoms of need but never cured my longterm disease of being orphan. I am still an orphan."
-A quote by a 30yr old orphan who aged out of an orphanage where he lived his whole life, spoken at the CAFO Summit 2013, which God has put on the forefront of my mind this morning.



I am finally uploading vacation photos! Maybe I'll post them all on a couple blog posts soon! This was one of my favorites from Give Kids The World Village, they offered horse rides done by therapy horses twice weekly! So neat and Brittney really enjoyed it! :)



"How do you know when you are meant to adopt? You just have a peace about it, right?"

No, I throw up.
That sounds awful. I am a work in progress. I forget God's goodness, His faithfulness and His promises. People will often tell me that they are caring for a child that is difficult, is stretching them, and they are overwhelmed. "Shannon" they say, "I just don't have a peace about adopting this child." Now, I am not at all pretending to have the "peace of God" all figured out but from what I have experienced so far I have never felt "peace" in the ways I expected.

Let me give you a glimpse into my deep imperfection, my lack of faith and my, just plain, sinfulness.

We had been walking the path as foster parents for a year. We had been parenting (or more honestly, feeling like we were failing at parenting) five kids ages 6 weeks to 9 years old. We weren't aware at the time, but now we know that trauma kids are often times an emotional age MUCH younger than their biological age. On most days it felt like we were parenting five children (of emotional) ages 4 and under. See our 8 and 9 year olds couldn't bathe themselves, dress themselves, didn't know how to play, never had brushed their teeth, needed supervision for homework, meals, everything really, for their own safety and the safety of others.

Traveling this path for a year had made me weary. Weary of crying, weary of losing myself, weary of missing time with my husband, weary of parenting. And smack in the middle of my physical and emotional weariness came a decision. Our 1st sibling group of three were coming up for adoption and we were given first choice. "Do you want to proceed with adopting them?" We thought this moment would be magical.

This hurts to write but I didn't want to adopt them. I wanted my home back, my sanity back, my energy back, I wanted my life back. I had been suffering severe anxiety attacks, throwing up several times a week, not able to sleep. I told the Lord the long list of reasons I couldn't do it. I had no physical peace at all. And well-meaning Christian friends comforted me, "Shannon, don't do it unless there isn't a doubt in your mind these are supposed to be your kids. You have to have a peace about it." Ah, my way out. Lots of doubt. No peace.

But my hubby ever so gently calmed me and reminded me that the Lord doesn't make mistakes. When we started this journey we committed to the Lord that, although our hearts were for seeing birth families reunified, if a child did come up for adoption in our home we would trust that the Lord chose that child for us and we could follow through and adopt them. We would trust that the Lord is true in His promises, that the children He placed with us would be a blessing to us and He would faithfully give us the strength and grace we needed for each day.

My peace didn't come from inside my-imperfect-self but from choosing to trust in the Lord's perfect plan.

Adoption day came and so did the chaos, bickering, and our Mirabel who refused to get out of bed. "I don't want to go!" She screamed. After much coaxing (and a few bribes) she got in the pretty dress we bought her for court but came out with a pillow case over her head. With futile pleadings we drove an hour away to court with pillow-case head in the back and me quietly sobbing in the front. See both of us were mourning losing parts of our own lives as we knew them. That little girl who walked through such loss and turmoil had learned that she could trust no one but herself. Gaining parents, through adoption, would mean having to extend trust to something that had hurt and failed her in the past. And me, through this year of attempting to pour out love into these kids with no return on my investment, I was feeling empty. I was having to let go of possessions, needs, time, hobbies, desires so I could meet the needs of these little ones. I was mourning the loss of the ease of my old life, not realizing the abundance God was planning for me in this new phase of life!

As we pulled up to the courthouse I dried my tears and looked at my pillow-case covered girl. "Please take it off, I have something for you." As her red, puffy eyes were exposed I handed her a small box. Her eyes brightened as she saw a golden heart-shaped locket. Inside the locket was a picture of us on one side and a picture of her birth mom on the other. A tear quietly fell down her cheek. I knelt down beside her, "We knew this day would be hard on you. We wanted to get you something to show you that in no way are we replacing her. We want you to be free to love her. We are not wanting to take your history from you, we just love you and want to give you a future. It is okay to be sad about losing someone and happy about gaining a new family at the same time. That is what the word "bittersweet" signifies. We understand that today is bittersweet for you." She wiped the tears from her cheek and wrapped her tiny arms around my neck, "I love you, mommy."

Four years ago today we walked into that courtroom as broken people and walked out as a family. If I had made a decision based on my human feelings I would have made the biggest mistake of my life. I would have let these three awesome kids go. I wouldn't have let God use them to further shape my faith and trust in ways I could have never imagined. I am crying thinking about what amazing kids I almost missed out on. Through the peace of knowing God is good and trusting in Him and not my own feelings, I gained three blessings that day that have changed my life forever! If you haven't meet these kids, let me be the first to tell you that they are just freaking awesome.

Happy 4th Adoption Day my spunky, crazy-funny, helpful, happy, super-smart, energetic, hard-working, loving trio who I couldn't love more!!! <3



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Saturday, April 30, 2016

Best of Facebook: April 2016

4/1/2016: Click here to see post on FB:
In the process of updating our homestudy (we do so every year) and it asks for a "Statement regarding your motivation to adopt." Here is ours:

We believe God cares deeply for the orphan and as Christians we are the hands and feet of God to show love and care for the least of these. We believe that every child deserves a safe family where they know they are loved regardless of their abilities, behavior, race, age, or history. We desire to make the least desirable children know that they are wanted and the hardest to place children know that they are deeply loved by us and their heavenly Father. We have built our family through the beautiful brokenness of adoption and wouldn’t have it any other way!

We are not perfect but one thing we have proven in our family dynamic is we have the commitment to love children from hard places. We have parented difficult trauma-related behaviors, delinquency, disorders such as RAD, PTSD, ODD, ADHD, and Enuresis. We have also navigated parenting many medical needs including Giant Congenital Melanocytic Nevus, atypical Hemolytic Uremic Syndrome (aHUS), Microcephaly, seizure disorder, Cerebral Palsy, vision impairment, global developmental delays, short gut syndrome, and GJ-tube dependency. We are willing to work with doctors, counselors and therapist to provide the best quality of life for any child God calls on us to welcome into our large family!

:) What is your motivation?



I used to work with Parks and Rec and my favorite time of year was helping put together our bi-annual parade float. Although I don't work there anymore I still have the opportunity to create props and costumes and now the kids get to participate too! We have so much fun being apart of these parades and, oh, the memories we make!!!



We got a frantic call while out on a date tonight. "Mom! Mom! Are you on your way home soon!?!"
"No, we are still at dinner, why? What is going on?"
His voice was shaking, "Mom, Buttercream's in labor! The hooves...the hooves are out!!!"
I smiled and mouthed to Brian that our cow was having her baby, "Anthony that is great!"
His voice becomes more frantic and he is having a hard time catching his breath, "But mom! What do I do? Will you come home? What do I do?"
I want to laugh at his intense concern but instead I used a more serious tone, "Anthony, calm down. You have read every farm book we own, every book on cows from the library, every cow pregnancy article online and watched every cow birthing video on youtube. You are a fully trained cow midwife (midhusband?) so breath and you'll be fine. You can do it!"
I hear very controlled breathing in and out, "Okay, thanks mom. I can do this!"

Not but a few minutes later, as we were heading home, we got a call that it was a boy! Brian and I arrived to all the children in their pajamas huddled around the birthing stall watching as mama licked her baby calf clean, cheering as baby stood on his own and took his wobbly first steps, and cherished in their heart the miracle of a new life on the farm! Welcome baby Cornbread!!!


Port surgery 1/2: Today Brittney is having a new chest port put in and she is in a good mood! :)

Brittney has been doing great since we have been home from the hospital! We have seen vast improvements since switching her to a real food diet, her cognitive abilities and speech have improved and her vocabulary has grown. We have also been able to wean her off ALL five of her daily meds!

She is healthy and infection free so today she is having surgery to have a new chest port placed. Brittney has been a great blessing in our life! God is good and faithful!!!


Port surgery 2/2: Today Brittney is having a new chest port put in and she is in a good mood! :)

2nd video before Britt's port surgery. She is too cute! And so happy!


Post-op: Brittney's Port surgery went well! She is a little "drunk" but is doing good, in great spirits considering, asking for food and to go home. :)


Mirabel has taken over milking Willow while I work on milking our new-in-milk cow, Buttercream. Twelve years old and she loves milking her goats and, now, a cow. You may think, that's cool, milking a cow, must be easy if a 12 year old can do it. But I didn't hand this chore over lightly. That creature weighs almost 1,000lbs and one kick could send you to the ER. It takes and calm, gentle, forgiving and very patient spirit to have a cow stand calmly for you while you squeeze and tug on her nether-regions!

See I had to learn that kind of spirit, I had to beg God to give it to me after being kicked, swatted at with a urine-soaked tail and having the milk bucket knocked over. I had to forgive Willow, speak gently to her, move calmly around her, and show her love even when I felt like wringing her huge cow neck!

But you see, Mirabel may be like her mama in a lot of ways, but in this case she is not. Willow took to her immediately, trusted her, and stood perfectly still right away. Sometimes the best lessons in this life don't come from books or college but from the heart of God's creation, children and from the creatures we least expect it to, like Willow the cow. :)



The kids reminded me that this is Brittney's first RV trip! Texas here we come! Can't wait for a week of camping, family-time, and fellowship!


Many of you may know we were recently preparing to adopt a special needs boy from an adoption dissolution (disruption, divorce).

We have always approached adoption the same, that we are are open and willing to walk whatever path God has for us. That means if we are approached to adopt a child we say yes and walk forward regardless of the challenges that may lie ahead. We trust the Lord will give us the grace and strength to endure and the patience to love any of His children. We aren't special or endowed with more patience, grace or strength than any other Christian. We are simply willing to trust God in the area of family planning and adoption. We renew our homestudy year after year not because we think we can handle more but because God is the caretaker of the orphans and we were adopted by Him. Therefore as the hands and feet of Jesus we care for the orphans and we adopt after our Father. We don't pray for God to "open the door to adoption," we feel He already has. We first pray we will trust Him as we walk forward through the open door and then we pray He will clearly close the door if this is not the child He has for our family. We see lots of closed doors. We see even more trust as our faith in our awesome God grows each time.

With that said, although we were willing to adopt again and we were in process of making it happen, we were also praying the entire time that God would clearly shut that door by rising up a family in this child's home state to adopt him before our homestudy was completed. And praise God that is exactly what happened! A family has come forward for this little boy, in his home state and we couldn't be more excited. We are now praying for this child, his new family and whatever God may have in store for us (we are praying about embryo adoption, but that is a different story). :)



We are home! Our trip to Big Sandy, TX was sweet and quite inspiring, maybe I will find some time to write more detailed about it soon. But we are so glad to be back on the farm. I did miss it, even though we all thoroughly enjoyed the break!

We drove home all day Saturday and I spent last night/this morning from 1am-8am in the ER with Brittney. Turns out it wasn't as severe as we originally thought just several small things piled on top of each other so she just was feeling no good. She has a mild cold, an awful yeast diaper rash and added inflammation due to becoming a little lady, a mild bladder infection and constipation (even though we had a bm every day). Rest, fluids, prescription cream, antibiotics and some Miralax and in a few days I am sure she will be up and feeling great again! :)

When my expectations were to be hospitalized again this news is a blessing! Sometimes the difference between blessings and burdens is just in what lenses you choose to look at life through. With all this little girlie's challenges (and now womanhood, oh my!) I still wouldn't trade her for the world! She is God's gift and blessing to us! We are so undeserving!!!



Worry happens when we assume responsibility for things that God never intended us to. The remedy for worry is trust. Worry won't heal my broken toe but trusting in God' goodness gives me a peace while it takes time to mend.

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

What are you worried about? Can you trust the Lord with that area of your life?

P.S. Excuse my poorly manicured toes, I even thought maybe I should re-paint them before taking a pic (how vain) but real mommy-hood sometimes looks like dirty toes and chipped nail polish. ;)



I am contemplating locking myself in a closet for 24 hours! LOL :) 
I feel like a comedy of errors! A couple weeks ago I schedule a wellness exam at my doctor as necessary to update our adoption homestudy.
So 2 days ago I take Britt to the ER and pick up a nasty cough, yesterday I break my toe, and today, IN THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE, I take a sip from my water bottle while holding my physical form and the paper perfectly slices my cornea!

Ha! Life is never boring indeed....



Britt-head is feeling so much better today! She is such an easy girl, seriously my easiest kid even with all her medical craziness, because her spirit is so sweet and joyful! She calls me over to show me all the toys she has been looking at sitting quietly on the couch. "Look mommy, toys, YAY!" Can't help but smile around this girl. We are seeing such a HUGE improvement in her mood, language, vocabulary and cognitive abilities since switching to her to an all-natural formula, Liquid Hope. It is amazing to watch!

Lots of good news today, my eye feels so much better, yesterday it felt like someone was rubbing a tree branch across it over and over. Ow! I don't have my vision completely back so I didn't feel comfortable driving, so a friend came by and picked up 3 big kids to go to the abortion clinic where we minister some Wednesday mornings. Then Anthony was picked up to help friends install gutters, lately because he is so smart and hard-working many friends and local farms hire him to help them out with building, yard and farm projects. And my favorite event is that Brian is off work today! It is beautiful out so we are all going to take a drive to an local fruit tree farm to plant the beginning of a fruit orchard on our property. God is good!



Mommy wars are real! Babies and kids don't come with manuals. Let us always season our words with grace, educate in private and encourage in public :)

Our baby Pygmy goat, Boberry, staring in his very first meme! ;)


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Thursday, March 31, 2016

Best of Facebook: March 2016

3/2/2016: Click here to see photo on FB:

You guys are truly the best! We went back to the hospital today for our weekly check-up and were greeted by very excited nurses and staff who told us mail has poured in for Brittney! We left with 30+ letters and packages from CA, FL, GA, IL, KY, MD, MO, NC, NY, PA, TX, UT, VA, VT, WA, WV and Germany!

We have been so busy playing catch-up with laundry and on the farm, gearing up for our springtime garden and petting zoos booked every weekend! Brittney is home with us for 2-3 more weeks until her external PICC line is replaced with a new internal Chest Port. These thoughtful presents and stickers will keep her occupied while we continue our catch-up work. :) Thank you!!! Seriously, you people are awesome!



Visited the hospital today for Britt's weekly PICC line dressing change and we recieved more sticker mail from Australia (x2), Canada, FL, NC, OH, OR, and VA. Thank you so much! With Brittney's severe vision impairment she loves feeling the stickers on her fingers then on the paper! You have greatly blessed our girlie! Thank you!


We may not all be called to adoption but we are all called to sacrifice. A favorite post from a year ago!

"We definitely don’t feel we were audibly “called” by God to adopt children. We were called to follow God and sacrifice all for Him. As we surrendered we followed God where His heart is. His heart is with the poor, the needy and the orphaned, therefore that is where we followed Him. Are we “called?” Yes, called to love others as ourselves. We don’t want to be poor, hungry or without parents so why would we leave others in that condition? Did we always want to adopt? Absolutely not." Read more on the blog:



I know I haven't posted a lot of just day to day stuff lately but here is Britt helping big sister weed a garden box today. When Britt came to us she wasn't fond of the outdoors, was terrified of dogs and didn't want anything to do with the farm animals. We can't blame her, she spent most of her life in hospital rooms and sterile medical foster homes being cared for by nurses.

But now she adores our dog, Fez, rides ponies and look at her finally being a kid and getting her hands dirty!!! Makes my heart happy!


Memory from 4 years ago:
"As I sit here, filling out our foster care re-license packet for 2012 I am listening to Mulan playing in the background coupled with random bursts of laughter, crunching popcorn and the occasional "mom, did you hear that!?! that was so funny!" I take comfort that I could walk down the hallway and in either room gaze upon a precious sleeping baby. I rejoice at new-found memories today of playing 5 person softball in an empty field across from our house, running like my life depended on it and cheering until I was hoarse. How did I ever live without this!?! Looking at this packet makes tears well as I remember how last year I was so grieved with a deep longing and the pain of emptiness. God how good and sovereign You are, how you make us wait for Your perfect plan. This was worth waiting for!"

Is there a longing in you to be a mommy? Are you in the waiting/paperwork time of your adoption? Trust in the Lord and He will give more freely and abundantly than you could have ever imagined!!!



"Mom there is a woman at our gate taking pictures!"
I was a mess and busy inside making a dozen costumes for the upcoming parade but I stopped and went out to greet this woman. She was having a big party and wanted us to bring our menagerie of animals, so she just stopped by due to our petting zoo sign out front. Just as I was finishing up a short tour of our farm one of the the kids ran outside to greet this stranger, now client....
"Um....who is that?"
I looked at my fully costumed child, "oh, that is just one of the Oompah-Loompahs that run our farm...."

If you ever feel like a crazy person, don't worry, we have somehow out-crazied you for sure!!! :D


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Monday, February 29, 2016

Best of Facebook: February 2016

2/1/2016: Click here to see photo on FB:

SO EXCITED! GI doctor just sent a prescription order for a formula made from REAL foods, called Liquid Hope!!! Why is this so exciting? Because this is the first time in 11 years my Britt girl will have something other than Corn Syrup and Soy oil as "nutrition" for her body! She will finally experience God's real, whole, natural, healthy, food and we can't wait to see how it benefits her mind and body!!! Picture is a comparison of ingredients from her old formula, Elecare Jr. and her NEW formula Liquid Hope!!! Can't wait!



"Daddy, can this be my cow this time? I am big now, I can feed him, I promise!"
Our Ty-man is turning 5 years old this month and this time its his turn to raise his very own bottle baby calf. Meet Pibb, he is a 3 day old Jersey bull from a local dairy. Here we go again!


That moment when you are tucking everyone in to bed but something doesn't feel right. So you get your rain coat and go check on your baby calf and baby goat. Baby Pibb is dry and warm in the stable, mama goat, Zelda, is staying dry in her house but where is baby Holly!?! It is storming bad here with flood warnings all night. Tonight is not a good night for tiny Holly to be missing!

Thirty long, wet minutes later I finally find a soaking wet baby goat in between a pile of pallets. Negligent mama Zelda got a good scolding and, needless to say, baby Holly is sleeping inside tonight! Oh the adventures I have with 7 kids and 50 animals!!!



As we prepare our to speak on adoption during a conference break-out session this Saturday and invite another TV news crew, SwissTV, to film us this Sunday I am filling my heart with Scripture, reading through Adopted for Life by Moore again and looking through memories of our journey so far.

Here are three things I know:
1. Personally caring for orphans is not optional for Christians. God calls it pure and faultless religion because it is a living, physical picture of our spiritual adoption; although we were once orphaned through sin now we are adopted as sons (and daughters) by God, our Father, through Jesus Christ.
2. Adoption is just plain HARD! It is messy, lonely and confusing. It is full of unforeseen trials, tears and doubt. It stretches us until we have reached the absolute end of ourselves and come to a point of fully relying on God for super natural strength, patience and endurance to finish this race.
3. We would do it again and again because adoption has put us smack in the middle of God's will for us; which is that we would grow in sanctification (1 Thes. 4:3), be made perfect and complete through enduring trials (James 1:2-4) and through loving others our joy would be made full (John 15:10-12)!

Adoption is necessary and difficult yet pure JOY!


There are over 150 million orphans in our world today. If all the orphans in the world started their own country it would be among the top 10 countries with the largest population, having a larger population than even Russia.

Christians, how great does the need have to become for us to finally act? Let us show the world our religion is true, in the way the bible calls pure and faultless, by caring for the orphan in their distress.



We enjoyed having new friends from SwissTV out to film and interview today! Can't wait to see what they turn our chaos into! Our only prayer is that we bring our Father glory and through us viewers may see a glimpse of Jesus!


"I love you, mommy." I love this girl and thankful for every moment with her! We are in the hospital again, keep Britt in your prayers. God is in control.

Yesterday when we noticed a sudden fever we rushed Britt to the ER. Due to the drug (Solaris) that she has infused to keep her life-threatening illness (aHUS) at bay she is more susceptible to deadly bacterial infections. We were all hoping her sudden fever of 104 was just from a normal cold, strep or even the flu. The hospital admitted us overnight as they waited for the blood cultures to come back. They were expecting all to be fine and Britt would be discharged today. Turns out the results are the worst case scenario, it came back that Britt does have a bacterial infection in her blood stream. But Brittney is a sweet, strong girl and is in good spirits. They have her on two strong antibiotics with the hopes to eradicate the infection quickly and that we will be able to stay at this local hospital and go home again in a week or so. Please pray for our Britt girl! we love her dearly!



Britt isn't feeling very good today. Although still her pleasant self she is more tired and doesn't want to do much other than sit and take care of her baby dolls. I caught a cold while here so I am happy to just enjoy our lazy Saturday together.


What a perfectly timed FB memory to pop up today as I sit with my girly in the hospital so thankful we said yes to her a year ago! The overflowing joy she brings to our family far outweighs the small trials that accompany her care.

Let me clarify for all of you who wonder and say, "Shannon, this special needs child you are considering adopting, she will take so much from your time, your schedule, your family and even your life! Why would you do that?"

2/13/2015: Well friends, to be honest, this child cannot take those things from me because I gave those up a long time ago. I gave those up when I met a Man. A Man that looked upon me, in my wretched state, not as too much work, but as wanted. Not as too much time but as worthy of love. This Man willingly emptied Himself, gave up all His energy and even His own life to make me His child. To adopt me into His family, His kingdom, His inheritance and give me new life eternally.

This life is no longer mine but Christ who lives in me. Isn't that the gospel? "And He (Jesus) was saying to them all, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake, he is the one who will save it." Luke 9:23-24 (see also: Matt 10:39, 16:25, Mark 8:35, Luke 17:33).

Did God not sustain me through taking in five kids at once? Did God not sustain me when saying yes to a little boy from MI? I cannot let my trust waver now! God has already proved Himself mighty in strength and God will certainly sustain me to parent this child as well!

We believe that every child is worthy of love and a family regardless of their physical, mental, emotional or behavioral needs. By stepping out in faith by being open and willing to adopt again, we are simply practicing what we preach!


Good news! Yesterday they took two separate blood samples on Brittney, one from her chest port again and one from Saphenous vein (in her thigh). While the chestport sample still came back positive for bacteria growth the thigh vein sample was negative! This means we caught the infection early enough that it wasn't able to spread to the blood stream! It is an isolated port infection from when her port was accessed for her infusion Thursday. Now we are just waiting to hear whether we will have to stay hospitalized while antibiotics are administered or we will be sent home with outpatient antibiotics.


Hospital day #3 Valentine's Day

Brian and I had this weekend all planned. We had a sitter, hotel and were looking forward to an overnight trip kayaking with manatees. Finally a getaway we have been greatly looking forward to! Our weekend turned out much different than planned, chatting in a hospital room, eating cafeteria food and playing with our little girl.

But this is love. Love lays aside our wants for the needs of others. Love stays by your side. Love makes you family. Love is from God. God is Love! We are happy to be right here in the middle of God's perfect plan on this Valentine's day, a day all about love.


Tomorrow we should hear whether we will have to finish IV antibiotics here in the hospital, be released to finish IV antibiotics with in-home nursing or be transferred to Shands hospital to have Brittney's chest port replaced. We are anticipating being hospitalized all week but we have already lined up care for our kids at home since Brian works Tue-Sat. Times like this show us what an amazing and supportive community of Christians we have surrounding us! Praise God our Britt is doing good and I thank Him daily for YOU!!!


Brittney got to do crafts with the Child Life Specialist and Art therapist while I attended a 4-hour Skype training. Then we got to paint a hospital ceiling tile. Otherwise it's been a lazy day and I am quickly becoming antsy to go home. While appreciated the rest for the first couple days I am ready to be home. I want to pull up my muck boots, get my hands dirty and be back to my busy, crazy farm life surrounded by nonstop children and animal adventures!


Brittney is doing good, just tired. There are volunteers and therapy students during the day and they have many fun activities but we are both are getting ready to be home. A little bad news today, the blood culture from 3 days ago came back positive for bacteria growth still. We can't go home until we have 3 consecutive negative blood cultures and they have to each be negative for 72 hours. So each positive culture sets us back several days and makes it more likely we will have to go through surgery to replace her chest port. We are still praying they can eradicate the infection in her port and we are thankful we have been able to stay local and not transfer to Shands!


Brittney had an awful morning. We had some x-rays and tests and it looks like, even after 7 days of antibiotics, the infection is still present and growing. We will have surgery to remove her chest port tomorrow. They will put in a temporary central line then when the infection clears she will have another surgery to place a new chest port. Now we are just chilling and doing our favorite thing, playing with stickers!


2/19/2016: Click here to see photo on FB:

Just as I want to throw a big, sloppy, loud, ugly mommy tantrum because we got the news we will have to stay hospitalized at least 2 more weeks my phone rings. Another long-distance mama calling me for an ear that just says, "I've been there! I hear you!" This is the third call this week from mamas struggling as they bear the tough weight of this fostercare journey.

She encouraged me without knowing it. I shared our real with her and before I know it I am preaching to myself. About God's grace, His refining fire, and how He didn't make a mistake when He put you right where you are. God used that phone call to remind myself that during these most difficult times He is teaching me (or reminding me) how to rely and depend FULLY on Him. I am so flawed and far from perfect, for if I did have it all together I could point to myself but I don't, so I point to Jesus.

Deep down I know why I am here. I would rather spend 100 days in the hospital with this girl than 1 day at home without her. I may not be able to keep her from having to stay in the hospital but I can make sure that she is never again in the hospital alone. God doesn't need to pour out His goodness on me, for He already has when He called me to be the mommy of my sweet Britt Britt!



So many of you were sweet enough to offer to send a card or stickers to our Britt girl to brighten her stay here at the hospital. Let's do it! Handmade construction paper cards are perfect, no need for store bought, and whatever sheet of stickers you have lying around will bring her joy! SHARE to spread the word to show some love to a precious little girl!



We gots our hairs did! I put lots of bright and happy beads in it to brighten up our hospital stay! We can certainly feel your prayers, this hospital stay doesn't feel nearly as hard emotionally as it could. And a huge thank you for our two packages of stickers today, one from Maryland and one from Las Vegas, Nevada! You guys are amazing!!!


Thank you for your kindness and generous sticker gifts! You can see them all over Britt's legs! Lol! The doctor said she is doing well and surprised us by sending us home today!!! We have to come back in a few days for a check-up so no sticker deliveries will be missed but we can go home!

The doctor just came in and said we could go home today!!! We were expecting to camp out here until early March but they are working on discharge papers now! I am too excited!!!


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Sunday, January 31, 2016

Best of Facebook: January 2016

1/1/2016: Click here to see photo on FB:

New Year's Resolution to de-clutter and stop resorting to yelling happened before New Year's this year. We have always taught our kids to pick up as they go and only have one toy bin out at a time but lately I have gotten lax and they have gotten messier. I purposed that, even though I wanted to, I wasn't going to go in their rooms and start yelling about the amazing piles of unsorted items that covered the floor. I quietly entered, "I hate that your rooms are always so messy. If you cannot get them cleaned in an hour I am going to help...with trash bags." When the hour was up and the rooms were still brimming with mess I continued quietly, "Bring everything in your room to the living room, they are going to kids that will love them and care for them and put them away correctly." Actually I didn't know who the toys would end up with but it sounded good at the time. I was upset, frustrated, tired of so much mess ALL THE TIME and I needed to hold to my word. Plus I may be a tad extra crabby this week....

Quickly all their junk was piled up in the living room. And I thought, maybe this wasn't the best idea....for 3 days I sorted through unorganized bins, toy boxes, and piles. We then sat everyone down and explained that honestly they didn't deserve anything back. They weren't taking care of their belongings. But we love them regardless of what they deserve so we asked them to list one thing they couldn't live without, two things they needed, and 10 things they wish they could be given an opportunity to take care of again. In tears some of them filled up their list, others just put 3-5 items down. One child said, I like my room so much better clean like it is, I don't want so many toys.

They got to put everything they listed happily back in their room. Some stuff surprised me and I asked, "Are you sure you didn't want this or that, you have room left on your list? I thought you loved it." But they actually liked living in less clutter and didn't want most of it back, some stuff that I liked they begged me to just get rid of it. So we have sold off some stuff, donated tons and my kids are surprisingly super thankful! They have everything they want without the unwanted mess!



6 years infertile. God has done such a work in my heart this past year after writing that infertility post. Heck, He did an amazing work in my heart those five years to get to a place I could write about it without anger. Right now our church is booming with bellys, baby talk and shower planning and I am so thankful to be right there in it all! I am truly so thankful for tiny lives growing and the hearts preparing for the most important journey this life has to offer, to be called "mommy."

While my desire to be pregnant hasn't faded my hurt and anger has. I will be okay if I one day say goodbye to this world without ever having felt a kick inside me. God has blessed me more abundantly than I could have ever imagined. My body could have never given me the amazingly, beautiful and inspiring children that I call mine! Our plans and designs don't always line up with God's but let me tell you firsthand that when you allow your desires to be shaped by God's you find yourself smack in the middle of a plan that is WAY better and deeper than your own ever could have been!




Tell me I am not the only one who has had my day interrupted by two 300lb pigs showing up like stray puppies! Sometimes I think to myself, Lord what on earth are you preparing me for through this!?! After hours herding them, containing them, knocking on dozens of doors, having the Sheriff come out we finally found the owner. After seeing our farm he said, "they'll be much happier here than my small pen." Welcome home Arnold and Sally! I am worn out! :) 


1/9/2016: Click here to see photo on FB:

Remember on New Year's when I told you I got rid of all my kid's toys and you thought I was the meanest mom ever!?! Just for the record my kids have, not one but, FOUR ponies.... :D


"I just wanna give up!"

Us "trauma-mamas" have all been there! Breath, renew yourself in the Word of truth and remember that Jesus saw us in our filth and sin, in our anger and stubbornness and in our selfish desires but He pursued us anyway. He didn't just put up with our sins but He gave His life as a ransom to pay for them.

His love for us was so deep it nailed Him to the cross. "Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends."(John 15:13)

It is so HARD! I know, mama, but pursue these little ones like you were pursued, love these little ones like you were loved and lay down your life for them in imitation of our Lord Jesus Christ who laid down His life for us!



Let me tell you about some really bad timing.

Two years ago we sold our big house in our beautiful neighborhood and ready to embark on a two year journey to get debt free. That meant living low (think tiny trailer in the country) so we could be freed from our bondage of debt for good. But then we were made aware of a boy in need of a new home. Bad timing. We can't adopt while we are moving and using every extra penny toward our debt. This would be a private $10,000 adoption. Bad timing. And look at his profile and all the listed "issues" like RAD, PTSD, ADHD...we are still working through some big issues with our other kiddos, how can we add another now? Bad timing.

How quickly did we learn there is no such thing as bad timing with God. For He is the master conductor of only one symphony. Perfect timing. How I regret all my moments doubting God's plan and trusting my own. How thankful I am that God steered my faith and gave me the strength to say "yes" even when my feelings were weak.

Two years ago we welcomed a 6th child into our home (It is Not a Good Time blog post). I am so glad we did because my Sam-the-China-Man is something else and there would be such a big hole in our family if he wasn't here to fill it! He is quiet, humble, eager to please, super smart, generous and has a quick wit that can have you roll on the floor laughing. It is hard to think that Sam hasn't just always just been here. His transition period was subtle, he fit right in so quickly and his struggles never seemed more than just normal un-taught childish stuff (much less than the crazy, bizarre attachment stuff we had previously known). This kid is just fantastic, I mean, just look at them fine dance moves!


Memory from two years ago, Jan. 15th, 2014:

"Sometimes I wonder how my life would be different if I were able to be pregnant. If I had 9 long months to plan for the arrival of a new baby. If I was given time to bond and love this child while they grew in my womb. I ponder what it would feel like to celebrate their coming arrival, to have new, gift-wrapped baby showers for my new and perfect blessing. I wonder if God would give me the treacherous and vomit-filled pregnancy to break me in to the reality of what it means to sacrifice your whole self for another. Or if I would have the wonderful, glowing, "I loved being pregnant" kind that would whisk me away to a land of rainbows and unicorns.

Then I come back to my reality. I have never been asked about our new arrival based on the size of my belly or made aware another was on the way by peeing on a stick. I have never, previously, had more than 24 hours to plan for the arrival of a child. Ever since day one I have been a mother of over double the national average of children in a normal home. I have never been able to claim their coming on our insurance, and have had to navigate the art of fundraising.

I sometimes mingle with the "grass is always greener" mentality and wish I fit in to the normal mommy talks about C-sections, epidurals and breast-feeding. I have never felt an unborn baby kick or been up all night with a newborn but I can show you the redemption of a delinquent and a runaway. I love my grass. It may not be new and fresh and green but it tells a story of redemption. It was thrown away but now it's wanted. It was walked on and neglected and abused but now it is loved and cherished and nurtured. I love the story God picked for me to live. The story of hurt, trials and loss that has morphed into the most glorious, redemptive love story.

All adoption begins in loss, grief and pain. Our son is joining us in our joy through his hurt. Our son is gaining our heritage through his loss. Our son may not feel our love while he walks through his grief. My life may be different if I had been given the gift of pregnancy, I may have even ignored the command to "care for the orphan". I may not have been given the opportunity to suffer with those that suffer and to sacrifice my whole self for these 6 little broken ones. I might have missed God's amazing power and healing. I might, just might, have fit into the category of "normal"."



Today was just AMAZING! God brought an army to us today. He must have big plans for our farm! Over 60 people from 3 different churches showed up to bless us by helping us clean up our 7 acre property. We serve an amazing God who can move mountains!



We are on a food journey with Brittney and she is doing SO good! Look at this girl who had a food aversion and NEVER took anything in via mouth is tasting and loving these GRITS!!!

When Brittney came to us she was pump fed formula 24 hours a day via her J-tube (a feeding tube placed in the jejunum, bypassing the stomach and upper GI tract). Her pump would continuously pump 50ml, about 2tbsp, of formula directly into her intestines for her to digest all day. Working closely with her gastroenterologist and her dietitian, we have slowly, yet successfully, transitioned her to being fed via her G-tube (a tube placed through the abdominal wall directly into the stomach).

Once we found she could handle food pumped directly into stomach we began a slow moving transition to increase the amount of food being pumped into her stomach while simultaneously decreasing the amount of time throughout the day it was being pumped in. Our halfway mark was achieved around Christmas when we were pumping 130mls, about a 1/2 cup, for only 10 hours a day. That means Brittney's body and GI tract could rest all night and she didn't have to be hooked up to her feed machine and tubes over night anymore! It also ended her BMs in a diaper over night and she is exclusively using the potty!!! Big win!

Our goal that we are reaching toward is to transition her off her feeding pump all together and begin to make her blended meals from real, whole foods! We are so close and soon she will get 4 bolus feeds via her G-tube then we will begin another slow journey of introducing real foods to her stomach while continuing to let her experience the amazing sensation of tasting foods by mouth!



"Adopt anymore children since we last saw you here?" Said the nurse checking us into our appointment.
I laughed, "Nope, we were here only 3 months ago."
"And are you sure you're not pregnant? They say it always happens after you adopt!" She eyed me carefully.
I smiled, "not pregnant either."

Yesterday we had a check-up with Brittney's nephrologist who is pretty far away, a 6-hour round trip drive. He said she looks good and her monthly bloodwork looks great. Happy news for sure!

Brittney has a terminal illness that doctors say will one day take her life, yet it is amazing it hasn't already. When we got that call asking us to be Brittney's family one thing that stuck out was the case-worker saying that many families had met and loved Brittney but all of them said the same, "it will be too hard to love a child that will die." Oh, if they only knew what they were missing; how can you not love a child that will die? We will all die one day. We must think do we want to die with no family, alone in a hospital room or do we want to die surrounded by people who love us deeply. And Jesus said, "Do unto others as you would have done unto you." (Matt. 7:12 and Luke 6:31)

This is what Brittney has:
"atypical Hemolytic Uremic Syndrome (aHUS) is a rare, life-threatening, genetic disease that can damage vital organs such as the kidneys, heart, and brain. In patients with aHUS, blood clots form in small blood vessels throughout the body, a process known as systemic thrombotic microangiopathy, or TMA. The disease can occur at any age and can lead to potentially devastating consequences. In the past, even with management about 50% of all people with aHUS die, needed dialysis, or had damage to their kidneys within 1 year of being diagnosed. There is no cure, and it is a genetic, lifelong disease." from ahussource.com

Her doctor is happy she is continuing to stay stable and is pleased that the very strong drug (Solaris or eculizumab) that she takes via her chest port every two weeks has kept the disease at bay for 4 years now. Every day is a blessing with this girl who is filled with the joy of life! Everytime I look at her I am so thankful we trusted God over our own fears. And Britt is clearly thankful that she is a well-loved daughter and very spoiled sister of a large family!

FB memory from 2 years ago today as we were preparing to travel to Michigan to adopt our Sam:
"What is it like to have a building excitement and growing body over nine long months? What is it like to explode in joy and ignite rejoicing all around you when your precious bundle makes their miraculous entrance into this world? What is it like to celebrate their coming arrival? What is it like to have things like baby showers, gifts and dedications? What is it like to have strangers and friends know just by looking at you that you are expecting another blessing? What is it like to feel their overwhelming excitement? What is it like to finally hold your new, perfect baby that shares your nose or your eyes? I don't know the answer to these questions.

What is it like to know of a child hurting? What is it like to learn that their parents who experienced their amazing birth no longer want them? What is it like to have your heart break into a million pieces just by looking at a picture of this orphaned child? What is it like being chosen by God as the parent of this sad, grieving and confused little one? What is it like to want to take all their hurt away but know that you can't? To wish, if only, they could have been protected, wanted and loved? What is it like to be asked again and again about your new child's pain and struggles? To be reminded of their great loss during their very short time in this world? To be informed of how hard life will be for them and for you? What is it like to desire an unending love so deep it will wash over this child like an ocean? What is it like to cry when they’re not looking when they open up enough to express their past hurts? What is it like to walk with them in their grieving, in their anger and in their lack of trust? What is it like to pursue them when they push you away? What is it like to only know suffering? What is it like to see amazing redemption? What is it like to see them finally smile, laugh or play? What is it like to know there is no higher calling than committing your life to an unwavering love to this, once unlovable, little one? What is it like to adopt a child? This I know all too well.

Turner will join our family in 2-3 weeks. I am not walking with a waddle and a belly but my heart is full and bursting. I wish it was all joy and excitement but my joy shares a seat with sorrow. Turner is losing so much and will be so confused. I can hear his questioning, "Why didn't they want me? Was it something I did?" We are expectantly planning his coming arrival, nesting even. We plan on leaving to travel Friday, Feb. 7th or Feb. 14th to bring home our new son. It won't look like all the pretty posts about sweet baby showers and cute newborn pictures but it will be a growing blessing for a family just the same. Turner, with all his baggage, his hurt and his rejection is still a BLESSING! To our new son, we cannot wait to meet you!"
(Picture was taken Dec. 2015 and shows what fun Sam has been!) :)



We have over 2 acres of bamboo we have been slowly cutting down. The kids have used it to make this little play house....pretty freaking cool!


Beautiful memory from 1 year ago when God was preparing our hearts to adopt our Brittney girl!
*With great love, comes a greater risk of pain.

Our lives have been opened up for comments, criticism, ridicule, but mainly for great encouragement! We have once again announced to the world that we are willing to walk down a road of adoption. Maybe for one who is healthy, maybe one who is sick. Maybe for one who is advanced, maybe one who is delayed. Maybe for one, maybe five.

Sweet little old ladies say the funniest things when we break this news every year to our church, "So I hear you are thinking about adopting again?"
Me: "Yes ma'am, that is true."
"You are going to be like the little old woman who lived in a shoe she had so many kids she didn't know what to do." People listening in began to giggle.
Me: "Hopefully not the shoe part, but when I don't know what to do I must solely rely on God. That is where I want to stay."

All I have to offer God and this child is my willingness. I am not the perfect wife. I am not a fantastic mother. I am not a great teacher. I can't ever get to the bottom of my to-do list. I stumble and fail much. I am not thinking of adopting again because I think I can handle it. I am not necessarily even ready. I want to adopt again because Jesus does. See adoption is bigger than just us. Through our adoption story runs a scarlet thread. A thread knotting our hearts for adoption to the One who adopted our hearts.

By opening up the door to adoption, I am offering myself as a sacrifice to the One who sacrificed all to me. Emptying myself so I can be filled with His glory. I am simply saying, "Lord I am willing, if you choose, use me." So when my husband loves me fiercely, my children call me blessed and onlookers say, "you are amazing, how do you do it?" I can say, "It is not me, but the One who lives in me!"
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