FAQ

Let me first say, that I LOVE LOVE LOVE talking about and sharing with others our family! The reason most these questions are humorous is the lack of tact or the underlying assumptions in which they are asked. I always answer with a smile and these questions often lead to conversation that allows me to educate about adoption and share the gospel, I am thankful for that! Maybe you wanted to ask one of these questions, well my friend, here are the answers!

 

Q: "You sure do have your hands full, don't you?"

A: If I answer "yes" then you are led to believe I am overwhelmed. If I answer "no" then you are led to believe I am seeking more children for my large collection and write me off as a loon. Neither is true or answers the question. God says children are a blessing! Who limits their blessings? Who says, "I have my hands full with my recent pay raise?" The phrase "hands full" refers only to being burdened. For example my hands are full when carrying in groceries. "I am not burdened, but blessed!"



Q: "Are you a daycare?"

A: "Nope. This is my family!"



Q: "Can you not have REAL children?"

A: To first clarify, the antonym of real is fake, which implies that the children, who are watching as you ask me this question, are somehow fake. "I have 5 REAL children."



Q: 2nd implication is what you are really asking is, "Can you give birth to a biological child?"

A2: "We don't know if we can conceive just that we haven't. God is the giver and taker of life and He has so generously provided us 5 children from other women's wombs."



Q: "What would you do if you got pregnant?"

A: That question implies that there is a chance I would do something other than carry the baby to term and raise it. "I, and our whole family, would be absolutely ecstatic!"



Q: "Five is quite a handful, so you are DONE, right?"

A: We pray that God's will be done in all things, including our family's growth. "Brian and I would love another and the kids want more siblings so I do see adoption in our future, God willing."



Q: "Isn't she your REAL daughter?" (always pointing at Maggie)

A: Again, with the antonym of real being fake. "Yes, she is my real daughter. She is also adopted."



Q: "Where is he from?" (always pointing at Titus)

A: To cease any further clarification and follow-up questions my temptation is to throw out a random country, "Sweden." but really the answer is, "He was born in the United States of America."



Q: "Are any of them REAL siblings?"

A: Seriously, can we replace the word "real" with the word "biological", pretty please? All my children are REAL siblings, as all 5 of them have the same REAL mom and dad. Yes, I do know what you are really asking, "Are any of them biological siblings?" "Anthony, Mirabel and Risa are biological half-siblings due to have the same mother but 3 different fathers. But now through adoption they are full-siblings having the same mother and father."



Q: "Are you ever going to send them to REAL school?"

A: I don't like this question. I don't like the assumptions behind it in regard to homeschooling my children. Homeschool is not fake school. Public school is not better than homeschool. As a mother I have the very best in mind for my kids and I will make decisions based on the that alone. "They enjoy and are thriving being homeschooled."



Q: "Girl, do you get around or what?"

A: I am not sure how the fact that I have hispanic, black, and white children puts you in the same "need to know" category as my doctor or blood donation center. "Don't tell my husband." (then, literally, lol)

 

6 comments:

  1. Ha ha ha! The nerve so some folks continues to amaze me as they increasingly grow bold enough to ask such questions! Creative and honest answers! I especially like the last one!

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    1. Try explaining in the car, "mom what did she mean by you "getting around"?" Oh brother!

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  2. Just one idea I would like to give you regarding these sometimes rude and impersonal questions. I once had a friend who complained that when she was pregnant, strangers would reach out and want to touch her growing belly. She felt that was rude and intrusive. It is, on one hand. But I suggested, that perhaps, because the birth of a child is the one miracle we all see and KNOW is a miracle from God, that the strangers cannot help but reach out and touch that miracle. They are not purposely trying to invade her space, but to reach out and touch the hand of God.

    You know I am also an adoptive mother and conceived children with IVF support. When people ask me seemingly inappropriate questions about my children, I view it from the perspective that they recognize the miracle of our family. The love and (apparent) sacrifices that we are making on the children's behalf, that they themselves have not done in their own lives. I think some people often don't know what to say, but they are still reaching out and acknowledging our/your miracle family, in the hopes that even in that small interchange, they are also in the midst of that miracle.

    Just a thought, :-)
    Donna K.

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    1. Thanks Donna, I do admire you and LOVE your little ones!

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  3. I happened upon your blog through no greater joy mom. I loved reading through it. We homeschool as well and will be adopting a 6-year-old boy from China after having four bio children. Thanks for sharing! Your kiddos are beautiful!

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    1. Thank you SO much! Congratulations on your upcoming adoption! It is quite a journey of joy and patience! :)

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